The Last Man on Earth
by Crash Ichimonji
Summary: All I wanted was to be in a world where people would appreciate me as more than just a pilot...But this is just CRAZY!
1. Chapter 1

A sort of 'harem-series' idea I had after reading through some RP emails a female friend and I do for fun, "The Last Man on Earth" is just a funny idea mixed with Eva fanficition's usual craziness with MAJOR fan-service for male otaku. I don't own the rights to any names, places, or characters here, they all belong to Anno and GAINAX. There, happy?

I once asked Asuka if she wanted to go to the movies with me, but she declined.

"Hahahahahahaha! Are you stupid?! Bwahahahaha!" she cackled with teary eyes of laughter. "YOU, Shinji the Inept, are asking ME on a DATE? That's…That's…Ahahahahaha!" she continued to laugh away, slumping to the floor and cradling her stomach. Apparently this serious attempt on my part that required mustering more courage than I though possible seemed like nothing at all to Asuka.

"Nevermind…" I sighed as I went to my room, cranking my SDAT to full volume to drown out the redheaded witch's snorting. She could have just said 'No' with a normal tone and expression. Why's she always have to be like that?

It's because I'm Shinji Ikari, that's why. I'm just a quiet middle schooler who just so happens to be one of the three people in the world that can prevent humanity's extinction, and yet no matter how many Angels I kill…I'm still nervous around girls…

That's my life: lonely. Touji and Kensuke are great friends, but when you get to this age, you want more than just friends. You want someone to hold hands with and talk to…and plan a future with…right?

"Dork-face!" Asuka slammed open my door, making me jump in shock as I yanked out my headphones. Her face was malevolent at best, and her eyes seemed like they'd pierce me with lasers at any moment like the 3rd Angel's did.

"Y-Yeah…?" I gulped.

"I'm going to say this once, and once only. If you make it so I have to repeat myself, I'll just sock you in the gut or groin, depending on my mood."

Isn't she just a sweetheart?

"I am WAY out of your league. Got that, Shinji?" she grinned in a superior fashion. "If I wanted to spend my free time, let alone my life, with someone as childish as you, I'd adopt a whiney brat. But, I don't and never will. You, idiot-boy, are nothing but a little boy who can't take responsibility for himself that suffers from a SEVERE case of the Poor-Me's. You're thin, you're stupid, you're a raging pervert, and you stink of boy-sweat. I bet you don't even have hair down there, and to be honest, I don't think your balls have even dropped or ever will drop. You, Shinji Ikari, are a little squabbling boy that I just happen to live with and have to fight Angels with. Give me one, just one reason why I should even go on one date with you. Hmm?" she glowered over me in a way that reminded me of my father. Great. There's two of them now….

"Um…Well-" I tried to come up with just any reason.

"You can't! It's because I'm a woman, and you're just little piglet. If you want to go do childish lovey-doviness, go ask that doll Ayanami. Maybe she can wipe you nose and clean your diapers for you! Ha!" And with a triumphant huff, the red devil left me with a self esteem lower than the Dead Sea. Yes, that was the same girl I was trying to ask out; don't ask me why I even thought of sharing a bag of popcorn with something so hazardous to my health.

"Concentrate, Shinji," Ritsuko ordered as the three of us pilots did our synch tests. It was just another day of tests, tests, tests, and tests to test us for tests. Did I mention we were also doing tests? I often wonder if I'm really worth anything at all to these people besides a tool for combat. Asuka's recent wailing on my character left me in a deeper slump of depression than usual, and my synch tests were showing it.

"Shinji, you're not even trying are you?" Misato barked. "We need you to get your ratio up, or else we'll have no reason to have you here."

Great, Misato doesn't even care about me outside of my plugsuit.

"Sorry…" I sighed as I tried to clear my mind a bit more. A nagging voice that sounded like Asuka's just kept singing loudly. 'Shut up…' I thought back as I tried to get this strange, annoying tune out of my head.

'It's men like you, that make the people suffer!

It's men like you, that make our lives tougher!

Be gone, foul beast, and do not come back here!

Leave us alone, your presence makes us sneer!

Be gone! Be gone! Be GONE!'

"SHUT UP!" I yelled in rage. My voice echoed throughout my plug and I could even hear it bounce about Asuka and Rei's plugs too. Misato and the others at the terminals simply stared, eyes wide and mouths agape. Even Asuka and Rei were staring at me in confusion through the monitor screens.

"Um…" Misato gulped. "Shinji, why don't you take the night off…You seem a bit too stressed to do anything here tonight. Uh…Right, Ritsu?" she turned to the equally confounded doctor.

"Um, yes, Shinji, we've gained enough useful data on you tonight. Go ahead and head on home. Today clearly isn't the best day for you. Take a bath and just relax for the evening."

I felt my insides turn to cold oatmeal as I drained my plug and exited. I changed and headed out of Nerv without even being fully conscious of it all. Here I was, depressed more than usual, useless at the only thing I'm needed for, and now I was hearing voices!

"Fucking shit…!" I cursed under my breath. Misato was probably going to send me to a loony-bin, Asuka was no doubt going to laugh at me for being a crazy freak, Rei probably lost any liking she had to me… "WHY ME?!" I screamed to the dusk-bathed sky. I didn't even care that some people were looking at me. Fuck them. I didn't care. I decided I'd just take a train and leave Tokyo-3. Maybe I'm better off not being here if this place is only worsening my life.

But I never did that night.

When I got home, I fed Penpen like usual, made some instant food, and then took a long bath.

"Fucking shit…" I cursed as I dunked my head under the water, letting the warm liquid ease some of my tensions. When I surfaced, I saw Asuka on the other side of the bath, smiling serenely as she gave a giggle.

"WAAAAHHH!?" I flopped out of the tub with the grace of a walrus on cannabis. I fumbled with my towel as my mind tried to think of what to do in this situation. I must have looked incredibly stupid right then, wrapping the towel around my face instead of my waist.

"You're doing it all wrong, silly!" Asuka laughed….But it wasn't a laugh I usually heard from her from teasing me. It was a girlish giggle, like I was just making an honest mistake. It was then that I covered my proper region and looked the other way.

"A-A-Asuka! Wh-What are you doing here???" I stuttered, my voice cracking at the worst possible time.

"Oh, I'm not Asuka," she said plainly.

"Huh?" I turned to suddenly see Rei in the tub instead.

"Rei?!" I freaked again as I looked away.

"What?" she asked as she exited the tub from behind me. I tried to open the door, but…It was locked from the outside? How was that even possible?! "Isn't this a more comforting form?" I felt a shiver up my spine as I turned around to see a very…very…unclothed Misato looking at me pleasantly. I could feel thermal expansion taking effect right away. "Or perhaps," she said in her adult voice. "This form is better for your eyes, Shin-chan?"

"Um…Who…What are you?" I fell to the floor in shock.

"Who, little ol' me?" she asked as she cocked her head to the side, then grinned. "I'm just a fae."

"Fay?" I tried to make sense of the situation, but most of my blood wasn't in my head at the time…

"Fae, Fairy, Imp, you know, a Sprite!" the Misato look-alike bounced (oh, what a bounce!). "I'm just a little Fairy that saw your predicament, and thought I'd help."

"Help?" I scowled. "You made everyone at Nerv think I'm crazy! How's that helping?!"

"Shinji-boy," the fake Misato cooed as she enveloped me in a warm embrace, our lips grazing one another. "They already thought you were loco."

"Wha-…" I sniffled. My life was over now. Where could I go?

"How about to another world, sweety?" she sat back and smiled excitedly, reading my mind.

"Another world?" I blinked, not even caring about the telepathy-thing.

"How about a world where everyone will appreciate you, instead of just because you're a pilot?"

I was dead silent then, my heart stopping for several seconds.

"R-Really?" I gulped. "Away from all the shit I have to deal with here?"

"Mm-hm," she nodded. "A world where Asuka would love to go to the movies with you, or on more dates. And Rei too," she winked.

Surely…This must have been a dream. Yeah! I must have dozed off in the bath and this was just another one of 'those' dreams. Well, might as well enjoy it while I'm dreaming it!

"Fine, send me away, fairy-girl," I shrugged as I prepared for another nocturnal emission.

"Sure thing…." Her voice faded as I felt the ground beneath me grow warm and rough. I looked around and saw that I was now in the middle of Tokyo-3…and I was still only wearing a towel…

"What? No clothes?!" I yelled to the air, my voice echoing. I looked around to see if anyone was looking at me…only to find that the city was…empty? Was there an Angel-attack warning? I didn't hear gunfire or explosions, not even the thuds of giant footsteps. I noticed that a door for a clothing store was open, so I made my way there. I figured I could let Misato pay the store for me borrowing a pair of clothing with my Nerv income, so I looked around. Nearly all of the clothing was female-oriented, and the male clothing seemed girlish too. Odd…

"Well, as long as I don't need to wear panties…" I blushed as I looked around, not seeing any surveillance cameras or people and changed. I put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that hugged my torso a little bit more than preferred, then exited only to hear a distant rumbling around the city. I was able to look up and see JSDF hovercraft taking off and attacking something in the distance. There before me was a tall shape I remembered all too well. Its body was ribbed and spiked with bony structures and its face was like a disk with a single tusk at the chin.

The 3rd Angel!

I tried to follow the street signs as I made my way towards Nerv. What I saw in place seemed normal enough, so I figured they could let me. But I realized I didn't have my card then, screwing me over more.

"Let me in! This is the Third Child, Shinji Ikari! I'm the Commander's son! I'm supposed to be transferred here!" I yelled as I banged on the security doors, but to no avail. I could hear the fighting in the distance, and as I looked away I was encompassed in a bright blinding light. Being sightless for that time being scared the crap out of me as the shockwave knocked me on my butt. After my eyes readjusted from the far off N2 mine, I continued my hollering as I tried to get inside. Where was Misato right now? Was she supposed to pick me up again? I heard footsteps head in my direction as I turned to see SWAT Section 2 personnel surround me with their submachine guns all aimed at me.

"Why aren't you evacuated?" one of them, a woman, asked curtly.

"B-Because I'm the new pilot," I gulped. Having a dozen fully-loaded guns aimed at you can be quite intimidating.

"Nice try, kid," she snorted. "There wasn't a request for a new pilot. Hands in the air slowly, girl, behind your head."

"Girl?!" I gawked as I felt my cheeks grow warm with blood. "I…I'm a guy…"

The soldiers all exchanged sounds of confusion, the leader woman walking straight up to me and then

"Urf!" I coughed as her hand patted my crotch hard. It felt like my equipment was gonna be crushed with the way she was man-handling me!

"No…Fucking…WAY!" she gasped. "He's right!"

"What?" the many soldiers, all women it seemed, all awed.

(Sergeant, come in,) I heard Misato's voice over the radio on the lead woman's shoulder. (What's the situation of the civilian?)

"Captain…" she gulped as she reported. "You aren't going to believe this…But it's a MALE." The way she said that certainly made me want so let my jaw drop to the floor.

"Am I the only man in the world?" I asked in a weak voice. Not weak as in fear, just weak as in too shocked to know how to react.

"Where the fuck have you been, boy?" one of the soldiers asked. "Second Impact wiped out mankind, leaving only us women."

I came to a startling realization of my situation: I was the only man left, and that meant I had no competition for being someone's boyfriend. Not to mention I'd no doubt be used to repopulate the world! I blushed at a stray thought of being in an orgy, all the hot women in my little fantasy moaning 'We have to save humanity from extinction, Shinji!'

(WHAT?!) Misato screamed in total shock. (Bring him inside and have Doctor Akagi look at him. Make sure it's not some poser girl!)

"You heard the Captain, ladies!" the sergeant ordered as I was cuffed and hoisted inside. I didn't like being restrained, but being carried by a bunch of women wasn't too bad. After my wrist shackles were removed, I was thrown into an off-white room where the soldier-women all tore off my clothing, then all but one of them left as Ritsuko entered. Since I technically didn't exist in this world, I didn't address her as I normally would.

"Um…" I blushed as I covered my groin region. "I take it you're Dr. Akagi?" I gulped.

"My my," she smiled as she grabbed my wrists and hoisted my arms up, revealing my more…private region. "Pubescent, but they're real," she awed as she used her free hand to 'examine' me. I flinched at her touching me, and it didn't take long for um…well… "And quite responsive too!" she laughed.

"Ri-…Dr. Akagi…!" I squeaked as my face went bright scarlet.

"So, your name is Shinji Ikari, right?" she asked as she let go of my arms and pulled out a syringe. I gulped at what she was about to do.

"Y-Yes…"

"And you say you're the commander's son, right?" the blonde doctor asked as she took an alcohol swab and rubbed my arm clean. "Hold still, and we can see if you're telling the truth."

And then I was stuck by the needle. I gave a hiss of pain as I looked away, the sight of blood always made me queasy. In a short moment, I was bandaged and needle-free as Ritsuko opened the door to the room and left for a moment. I was left there, naked, confused, and scared for minutes on end, wondering how my life would be now in this world.

In time, the Section 2 women returned with the clothes I stole, handing them to me and telling me to change. I dressed, and was led at gunpoint through the base to the Eva cages. Then it hit me: I was going to be used as a pilot then!

When I finally entered the room where Unit 01 was in cryo-stasis, I had a flashback from the time I first came to Tokyo-3, but things didn't happen the way they did that time. I didn't see Father because he wasn't alive anymore; in fact, I didn't see the commander or even a sub-commander in the cages. Instead, Ritsuko stood beside me as I was reintroduced to Misato. Her hair seemed a bit short compared to the Misato of my world, and she seemed more serious than I had remembered her on that day.

"So, you're the little lost male, huh?" the captain eyed me from her standing position. "I'll admit, I'm a bit shocked, but in our current situation, we don't have time to feel excited by finding a long-extinct creature." I didn't like the 'creature' comment, but I decided to ignore it.

"So, what did the commander say?" Ritsuko asked.

"He'll pilot Unit 01, and if he can't, we'll just send Rei instead," my former guardian sighed. I remembered how Rei was injured at this time when I first arrived.

"Well, let's hope we don't have to resort to THAT plan…" Ritsuko groaned. "Well then, Shinji," she began as I turned to face the doctor. "You will pilot Evangelion Unit 01."

Time stood still for me. Here I was, in the situation I showed cowardice to before. I knew the situation Rei was in, and that not doing this could very well annihilate mankind…erm…womankind and one male. Everyone at Nerv saw me as a whiner and a coward because of that day. But, I knew what was going to happen. I would win this fight and be praised. I knew when the next several Angels would come and what to expect. I knew that this time I wouldn't be a coward. Even if this was a world where I was only valued as a pilot AND the last male, I knew that this was my chance to go the extra mile.

All this went through my head in an instant after Ritsuko ordered me. I faced Misato, my face as determined as hers currently was, and nodded.

"I'll pilot Evangelion Unit 01."

I secretly wanted an applause for this outward sign of strength I finally acquired, but I was thankful to merely get a smile from the purple-haired captain. "Well, you've got guts, kid. Let's hope you have the strength to back it up."

"I won't let you or anyone down," I smiled back. The moment was short-lived as I was given the A-10 neural connectors and situated into my plug. Once the LCL settled in and my Eva was activated, I felt…a presence. For a moment, I saw a fleeting image of a man. His face lacked the facial hair I remembered him by, and he looked too young to be the man I remembered. Even more strange was his expression: a warm smile. But there was no mistaking it.

"Father…?" I felt my heart skip a beat. As soon as the image came into my mind, it vanished and I was contacted by the bridge.

(Shinji,) Misato commanded as the restraints were being lifted away. (You have the future of humankind doubly resting on this fight. If you fail, all of humankind will be obliterated by the Angels. If you defeat the Angel but die in the process, womankind loses the last male in the world. Don't disappoint us, boy.)

Not the same comforting Misato I knew, but I understood her rationale.

"Understood. I'm not going to lose," I took a deep breath as Unit 01 was positioned to the catapult.

(Launch Eva!) she commanded sternly as I braced for the G-force that led me to the surface. It was still late afternoon when I arrived, the 3rd Angel making its way to my position, looking me dead in the eye.

"This time I'm going to be in control…" I whispered to my enemy. I wasn't going to pass out this time, and I sure as hell wasn't going to go crazy and forget what I did. No mistakes. Everything will be as it should have been.

(Shinji,) Ritsuko said calmly. (Try to focus on walking for now.)

"Walking…" I gave a sigh as I trudged forward slowly.

(Amazing, he's walking!) the doctor cheered. I continued to move forward, my pace increasing. (He's moving faster? But…How?)

Before she could say anything else, I was running at top speed at the monster, its arms drawn out to fire its lance. But I was ready this time!

(Shinji! Dodge-!) Misato commanded but was too late as the pink positron shaft headed my way, only to miss me by a few dozen meters. I ducked into a roll and sprang up to the beast, it's expressionless face no doubt wanting to show how shocked it was. With a mighty swing, I hooked my left fist to it's core, the glass-like ringing echoing throughout the city as the Angel backed away in a jump. I was too quick for it, though, and managed to grab it's arm. Basic training at Nerv taught me how to grapple in an amateurish way, and thus I went behind Sachiel and brought its limb into a tight position.

With an inhuman screech, its body flinched as I showed no mercy to its hulking form, ripping the arm from its socket as I kicked the monstrosity to the street-floor. Azure blood splattered to the side as it tried to regain its footing, but I was ready once again as I activated the progressive knife.

(How the hell did he do that?!) Misato sputtered from the com-link.

"DIE!" I roared as I kicked the Angel unto its back and stabbed the red abdominal sphere with more might than I did to its successor three weeks later. Blinding aurora sparks sang loudly as they arched outwards from the slowly waxing wound. As the beast struggled, it's arm raised to javelin my face, the blade sunk to the hilt and all froze into silence.

I sat in my seat, sweat mixing with the LCL as I gazed at the lifeless Angel before me, I could see a now solidified inert rod only a few centimeters from my left eye unit as a monument to Sachiel's final attempt to save itself.

I could hear my heart as it pounded like a blacksmith's hammer in my throat. I withdrew from my kill and gave a deep breath.

(Well done, boy,) a cold yet thankful female voice came onto my communication link. (Have all units mobilize to retrieve Unit 01 and the pilot. Bring him to my office, immediately.) And then the mystery woman's voice disappeared.

(Shinji, well done,) Misato appeared on my screen with a smug grin. (Looks like you're a man of your word. Just don't get cocky in the future.)

"Rest assured," I beamed. "I won't." Victory never felt so great for me. Unit 01 was brought back to the cages for testing, and even though I was still being led at gun-point, I felt confident for once in my short life as I was sent to the office of the woman I heard earlier. I gulped at its dark ambiance, as I entered.

The office was immensely large, the glass windows to the Geofront gave the room a surreal horizontal feel. Above and below me were two patterns of some tree or something, all in English letters but in a language that wasn't English. There at the end of the room were two people at a desk. One was an older woman probably in her fifties, her brown hair showing a faded grey tone underneath. Her face seemed familiar, but I couldn't place it.

The second woman sat at the desk in a position I was all too familiar with. The gloves, the glasses, the uniform…she was just like Father looked on the command bridge.

"Naoko, leave," the seated woman commanded to the older one. With a nod, she left the room and I was all alone with the woman who was apparently the commander. "Do you know what this is, Shinji?" she asked as she stood up and held a sheet of paper with some graphs and displays on it.

"Um…No…" I gulped.

"It's the results of the maternity test I had Dr. Ritsuko Akagi do with your and my blood. Do you know what the results were?" she asked as she approached me. I was too panicked to respond. This woman gave the same aura Father gave off: dark and unwavering. As she stood less than a meter in front of me, she showed the paper to my face.

Male DNA sample shows 50 percent match with Female's DNA pattern.

Female is Male's mother.

"M-Mother…?" I mouthed the word in shock. Before I realized it, I was enveloped in a warm embrace of the commander, her gloved hand gently stroking my head. I heard a sniffling from her, a soft crying as she held me tight.

"Shinji…" she said with tears dripping onto my head. "Welcome back…!"

"Wait, Mother?" I looked up, only to see her solemn and mean expression had melted to joyful smile with saline-bleeding eyes. "I thought…I thought…" I couldn't say it. I just couldn't. I didn't' want to ruin this moment.

"Oh Shinji!" she held me tight once more sobbing onto my head. "I've missed you so much!" I…I couldn't believe this, someone actually cared about me…and it was the woman that had given me life. I felt my eyes water as I clung to my mother desperately.

"Mother!" was all I could say.

"It's okay, baby!" she petted my shaking form. "Momma's here. Momma's not going anywhere…" Our reunion, sadly, was cut short by a cacophonous rapping at the steel door to the room.

"Mom! Mom! Is he in there?" I heard an oddly familiar voice ask with excitement.

"Not now!" Mother barked, making me flinch at her tone.

"Aw! C'mon! I wanna see him too!" the girl's voice whined. Where had I heard that voice from???

"I'm ORDERING you to head back to the bridge with Captain Katsuragi! You can see him later!" Mother sighed as she turned to me. "I swear that girl has the worst manners in the world, despite all I've done to teach her otherwise…" she grumbled.

"Huh?" I blinked, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"A-ha! Found my card!" the anxious girl's voice chirped as I heard a card swipe the security barrier and the door hissed open. I…I couldn't believe the sight before me. The hair, the eyes, the pale skin, and the plugsuit I knew all too well…..!

"Rei!" Mother let go of me and walked sternly to the albino girl, pinching her arm tightly. "I gave you an order! The least you can do is obey your own mother!"

"Ow ow ow ow ow ow!" she winched at the pinch, but managed to break free. Our eyes met and I was rewarded with the smile I had only seen once on this face.

"Um…Hi…I'm Shinji," I extended my hand to shake. Rather than take it, Rei pounced me and knocked me to the floor, hugging me tightly. I then remembered what Mother had said as she scolded Rei…No, Rei couldn't be…

"Shinji," Mother gave an exhausted sigh. "Meet your sister, Rei."

"Can I call you nii-chan?" my blue-haired sister asked me with an impish smile of excitement. This was turning out to be one hell of a weird dream...

To be continued…

Author's Notes:

Well, I hope this got enough of you interested. Yes, technically Rei is Shinji's sister. Well, half-sister, really. If you haven't seen all of Evangelion, Death and Rebirth, and EOE, don't bother reading the long-explanation below

Rei is a clone of Yui with Lilith's DNA in the mix, remember? That makes her Yui's daughter in a sense. Contrary to popular belief, clones are not 100 percent genetic copies of things. The cloning process involves taking a mature nucleus from a donor's body-cell and putting it in place of an unfertilized egg cell's nucleus, and then electrifying it in some special type of process that makes the cell divide and develop into a fetus. Well, in actuality, the clone-embryo shares about 99 percent the DNA of the donor's body, and 1 percent of the egg-donor's body. And, since Rei is half-Angel, that means half of her DNA comes from Lilith and half from Yui, genetically making her Shinji's half-sister. Yes, I was a Biology major. If you can come up with substantial proof I'm wrong, please, by all means present me with some sources.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Shameless Boasting:

Well, it seems this story managed to rope a lot of support with just one chapter. Good. Soon you will all fall into my web of hypnotic funfiction and become my slaves of the net to terrorize the depth of digital hell (4chan included).

Nah…I think I'll just have you all keep reading this series as it gets updated. That'll do for now.

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to NGE, the cast, the plots, and so on. That belongs to Anno and Gainax.

And for those of you that are Swedish and did not understand what I just said, here's the exact translation in your native tongue: "Bork borkie bork bork borkity-bork bork BORK!

Chapter 2

I was having quite a hard time grasping the situation. Here, holding me tightly with a wide grin was Rei Ayanami. This was the girl that only smiled for me one time and was otherwise emotionless it seemed. Rei Ayanami…IS MY SISTER???

"S-Sister?" I gawked.

"Yes," Mother sighed as she tried to regain her composure. "You two were fraternal twins. Technically, Rei's older…" she trailed off.

"That doesn't matter, Mom!" Rei frowned as she cuddled me again. "You can still be my nii-chan, right Shinji?"

"Um…I s-suppose…" I blushed as our cheeks rubbed against each other. How did this world's Rei get so…so…Girlish? First she glomped me, now she was hugging me like a stuffed toy…Wait, how could she be hugging me? I thought Rei was injured at this time period?

"Uh, Rei?" I asked as I managed to pull away from her enough to look her in the face. I saw Rei everyday, but it was now that I was able to realize the truth as Mother stood beside us: Rei's face was the same as Mother's!

"Yes?" she blinked.

"Um, you aren't…Injured or anything, right?" I asked, bewildered that there seemed to be not so much as a band-aide on her.

"Why would I be?" she raised her eyebrow. "I've been bored as hell sitting in Unit 00 waiting to be launched until you arrived, nii-chan. But," her cheeks reddened as she smiled, hugging me tightly once more. "I'm so glad nii-chan was worried about me!" she squealed with girlish joy.

"Rei…" Mother sighed as she grabbed her plugsuit's collar and managed to drag her away from me. "Did you forget the entirely odd situation here?" she folded her arms as she looked at my sister.

"Um…What situation…?" the blue-haired mystery-girl scratched her head in deep thought.

"Rei…!" our matriarch grumbled. "Did you forget what happened on April 19, 2004?" Her tone was more serious now, graven in fact.

"April 19th?" her eyes widened as she realized the significance of the date. "You're right!" both she and Mother stared back at me with inquisitive looks.

"Um…Wait, what happened then?" I leered a bit. Mother's face became solemn as she approached me. I stood up to face her, worried what that date meant.

"It was the day you died. You were only a toddler…" she fought back her tears, it seemed.

"Died?" I blinked.

"Second Impact," Rei explained, now in a more serious tone and expression. "Sent an airborne virus that killed all human males by the end of 2004."

"It did? Then, that means Father…" I began. Mother sniffled as I brought back her sorrowful memories.

"Yes, and Professor Fuyutsuki as well," she gave a sigh. "Most of The Committee was annihilated as a result, and so Nerv was founded to maintain order in the word while we prepared to fight the coming Angels."

"I…I see…" I looked down. I suppose I had to tell them the truth: that I was a different Shinji; that I came from a different world.

"By the way, Mom," Rei asked. "How are we going to explain nii-chan's existence to Nerv and my school? He IS coming to my school, right?"

"Uh, well, Rei," I began. "I'm actually-"

"Simple," Mother interrupted me, then facing in my direction. "We've kept you hidden and protected as a final hope for humankind. That will be your explanation, Shinji."

"Um…Okay…" I suppose I didn't need to explain my true origin for now. Though, I did find it incredibly odd that Mother wasn't pursuing the truth about me right then.

"Works for me!" Rei chirped.

"Now then…" Mother headed to her desk, sitting down as she pulled out a cellphone and spoke into it. "Captain? Come to my office immediately." And with that, she hung up.

"Why are you calling Ms. Misato?" Rei asked.

"It's about both of your living arrangements," our mother sat at her seat as we awaited Nerv's operations director.

Time passed shortly before the door opened to reveal Misato, her visage professional as she saluted her commander.

"Yes, ma'am?" she asked.

"Captain, how long have you been situated in your home in the eastern district?" Mother requested.

"Not long, commander…" the lavender-haired captain blinked. "I think it's only been a week or so. Why?"

"I'm entrusting you with both Shinji and Rei as their legal guardian," she said simply.

The look of shock upon Misato's face was…priceless, to say the least.

"What???" she gawked. "I-I mean, why me, Commander?"

"Simple: I'm designating Shinji as the Third Child, putting both him and Rei under your command in battle situations, so it makes perfect sense to have them both under your primary care as well. You will be in charge of their academic situations as well as those involving living conditions, and will report their progresses to me daily. Are those enough reasons, Captain?" Mother eyed Misato. Damn, she could be scary when she was serious!

"Uh-! Th-Those are perfectly rational reasons and responsibilities, Commander," our new guardian nodded weakly as she continued to sweat bullets.

"Glad to hear you agree. Oh, and I'll be monitoring your store purchases from now on. You aren't permitted to have any alcohol at home or at work anymore."

"WHAT???" the captain sputtered with a horrified face of…well…horror.

"You shouldn't be drinking anyways, Captain," Mother sat back and turned her chair around to face away. "My decisions are final. I'll have Rei's belongings shipped to your home tomorrow. For now, take Shinji and Rei home with you and get them some clothing and school supplies tomorrow. Shinji especially. Try not to let him stand out when you're in town either, he's crucial to humanity's survival after all."

"Y-Yes, Commander…" Misato nodded with a disheveled look.

"Good, then," Mother stood from her chair as she walked over to the three of us. Misato saluted nervously as she passed by and gave me a hug. "I'll see you in a day or two, dear," she assured me with a squeeze. "Right now just get some rest and be good, alright?" she parted from me with a smile, her eyes watering again.

"Sure thing, Mother," I nodded.

"I'd like it if you just called me 'mom', sweety. But, no rush," she gave my forehead a kiss as she came to Rei (I was still trying to accept that SHE of all people was my sister…). "Now, I want you to be on your best behavior, young lady," she frowned to her.

"I always am," Rei laughed with a smile, but Mother's gaze burned through her façade.

"Rei…"

"Um…" she gulped. "I mean, I'll be really extra-especially good, Mom."

"I should hope so," our mother sighed with a smile as she gave Rei a hug. "Don't scare your brother too much…"

"Scare me?" I blinked. Yeah, Rei was a little…odd in this world, but she didn't seem too out there…

"Well then, Captain," Mother turned to Misato. "You have your orders. Let Rei change and then take the Children to their new home."

"Hai!" our new guardian saluted with an uneasy smile as Rei and I left the room with her.

"Is it just me…" I whispered to my new sibling. "Or can Mother be a little…scary at times?"

"It's not you, nii-chan," Rei whispered back. "Mom's been like this ever since Dad and you died. But, she should start to loosen up with you being back now."

"That's a relief," I gave a satisfied sigh.

"So, Shinji," Misato asked as she finally regained her cool I knew her for having. "Just between the three of us, how did you manage to pilot Unit 01 like that?"

"Like what?" I asked as we headed up the escalator to the changing rooms.

"You know what I mean. You went from walking to CQC in the blink of an eye, and even knew how to engage the progressive knife to attack the Angel at its core."

"Oh…Um…_That_…" I laughed weakly. "Um, well, it…uh…"

"Nii-chan is probably a prodigy, Ms. Misato," Rei came in for the save.

"I wasn't talking to you, Rei," Misato scowled. "Besides, that still doesn't explain how you knew about the progressive knife, right Shinji-boy?" Misato faced me with a smug grin.

I wanted to look at Rei for an answer, but I knew Misato would see through my strategy in an instant. Without even realizing it, I gave an answer.

"Anime!"

"Hm?" my guardian blinked in surprise.

"Uh…I remember…I remember an old anime when I was a kid…There was a mech with a beam-sword in its shoulder, and so I just activated it by luck."

"Oh, is that right?" Misato still gave me a scrutinizing look. "Well, I suppose I can accept that answer for now…" she shrugged. We all exited the escalator as Rei gave me another tight hug.

"Be back in a sec, nii-chan," she smiled as she skipped off to the changing room. I know: Rei skipping?

"It's sometimes hard to imagine she's Commander Yui's daughter. They sure look alike, but, man oh man, they're complete opposites in personality."

"Yeah…" I concurred as I soaked up the image of a happy and carefree Rei Aya...Well, I guess it was Ikari here.

"Though, I have to admit, despite her quirkiness, Rei certainly delivers in synch tests and battle simulation results." Misato gave a sigh as we waited for only a few minutes, Rei returning in the middle of putting on her other white shoe. She still wore her uniform it seemed. I guess some things are universal no matter what world you go to.

"Okay, time to head home!" she gave me another hug as we followed Misato to her car. Misato's driving hadn't changed either. My pulse was a blinding staccato of beats as our guardian fired her engine and roared out of the parking lot and into town.

"Woo-hoo!" Rei squealed with excitement as Misato took advantage of no one being in town at the time by flooring her car's speed pedal.

"Um…Misato…?" I gulped in the back seat as I felt what must have been a car-based G-force pin me into the seat.

"What, Shinji?" she turned to look back at me.

"Um, could you maybe slow-"

"Car at eleven o'clock," Rei said plainly.

With a screech to the right, Misato barely dodged the parked vehicle as we swerved back into our lane.

"You were saying, Shinji?" she asked while looking at me through her rearview mirror.

"Um, could you…maybe slow down?" I asked nervously.

"Hm?" she blinked as she made a hard bank to the left and onto the road to the apartment. "We're almost there, though."

"Oh…Okay…"

"Car at your twelve," Rei announced again.

Another banshee skid of tire treads on asphalt shrieked as we slid to the side to dodge another parked car by a mere millisecond of timing. I think her driving was worse in this world! Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, Misato displayed her skills at parallel parking with one skid, the car lifting up at one side just a bit before falling back down with a thunderous thud.

"Note to self, start walking and taking the bus…" I murmured as I gave a silent prayer to whatever held this universe together for sparing us of a collision and a hellacious gas-tank explosion.

"Wow, only two-minutes and fourty-two seconds, Ms. Misato!" Rei chirped as she gazed at her watch. "That's two seconds faster than last time."

"And you wanted to slow down," Misato laughed haughtily at me as I took my wobbly steps out of the car to follow her and my new sister. More things stayed the same in this world than I thought. Misato's apartment was in the same spot as last time, and the inside of her home still looked like it did when I first arrived back in my world.

"Welcome home, kids," our guardian gave a sigh of relief as we kicked off our footwear and headed inside. Snacks, wrappers, beer cans, and various unfolded piles of laundrey littered the house like a poorly-covered minefield, Misato walking through it all as if it was nothing serious.

"Home sweet home…" Rei grimaced with me. "Don't worry, nii-chan," she whispered to me. "Mom will get Ms. Misato motivated to start cleaning. To be honest, I don't think I could live in this mess either."

"We could always do the chores ourselves…" I whispered back as I checked the fridge. "Ice…Snacks…And…Yup…Beer. At least that's gonna change."

"Hey, what's this extra fridge for?" my blue-haired sibling blinked as she headed to the other icebox.

"Wait, that's-"

"WARK WARK WARK!" a loud squawk was issued as a still napping Penpen was rudely awakened. Of course, Rei's shriek of fright at having a penguin leap out and flap at her was louder.

"KYAA!" she glomped me, holding onto me tightly as our Antarctic roommate snapped at my sister. "Shoo! Shoo! Back, you evil fridge-demon!" Rei frantically tried to seek protection from me. Penpen stopped his flapping and pecking as he saw me, his feathers puffing out as he gave an avian snort.

"What the hell's going on here!" Misato ran into the room with only her tank-top on. I looked away in shock as I tried to explain the situation. As if she didn't dress skimpily already….

"Th-That little oni there tried to eat me!" Rei shivered behind me. Penpen gave a few squawks to Misato as if he had a thing or two to say about Rei.

"Penpen?" Misato blinked as she petted her bird, still unaware of the fact that she had no clothing over her lower body! "Awwww, it's okay, sweety," I heard her hug the little water bird. "This is Penpen, Rei. He's our other roommate."

"R-Roommate??" my twin gulped.

"Yeah, he's a warm water penguin. He sleeps in the other fridge and takes baths at night. He must have been napping just now when you woke him up," our lavendaer haired commanding officer opened the fridge and plopped her pet inside. "Sorry, sweety-pie. Just get some rest and I'll fix you some dinner in a bit."

"Wark!"

The door closed to the little bird's bedroom and all was silent.

"Shinji?" Misato asked. "Why are you looking down? Penpen's in the fridge now."

"Um, Misato…" I blushed with my eyes forced shut. "Pleae put some pants on…"

"Hm? GAH!" our guardian screamed as she ran out of the kitchen and returned a few minutes later in her cut-off shorts. "Sorry, Shinji," she laughed as if it was a simple mistake like forgetting to button the top button on her pants. "So then, How about you two go take a bath and I'll lend you some clothes to wear for the night. When you're done I can get some instant food ready to eat."

"Sure, Misato," I nodded as I stood and headed to the bathroom. I shut the door and started to strip in the room, only to hear the sound of clothing being removed right next to me. I turned over to see my pale sibling undressing by my side. "Wha-! Rei!" I fell back, trying to pull my pants over my shorts again.

"Hm?" she stopped as she removed her skirt and vest piece. "What's wrong, nii-chan?" she blinked.

"Wh-What are you d-doing in here?" I gawked, trying to keep all the blood in my brain for as long as I could.

"I'm taking a bath, nii-chan," she smiled with a giggle. "Misato told us to-"

"She meant for one at a time!" I felt my face go crimson.

"Really?"

"Yes! Why would you take a bath with me??"

"Well," she thought for a moment. "We are brother and sister. And," she brightened up. "We used to take baths together when we were little, silly."

"We did?" I stopped to think, then returned to the subject at hand. "That's different, though!" I fumed.

"It's okay, nii-chan," Rei finished undressing down to her birthday suit. May God forgive me for seeing my own sister buck-naked as she bent over to fill the tub. "The tub looks big enough for- Hm? Nii-chan? Where'd you go?" I heard Rei as I had already snuck out of the bathroom and laid in a fetal position on the couch.

_She's your sister, she's your sister, she's your sister, she's your sister…!_ I reminded myself continuously to prevent my lower body from forgetting that fact.

"Shinji? What's wrong?" Misato asked as she looked down at my curled form.

"Um…Nothing…" I looked away.

"You sure?" she asked with an interrogator's tone.

"Yes…Just…Nothing," I gave a sigh.

"Well, alright. Oh, let me go get a some PJ's for Rei," the captain trotted off to grab some clothes for my bathing sister.

I sat up to see what smelled so…disgusting in the kitchen. I looked over to see instant curry and various freeze-dried foods being nuked or slowly boiled. Another unfortunate aspect of Misato Katsuragi that hadn't changed…

"Say, Shinji," the chef from hell returned with a large baggy T-shirt saying 'Woodstock 2009' on it and a pair of lose sweatpants. "You don't mind wearing sweatpants without underwear, right?"

"Uh," I turned to face her. "Well…Compared to having to wear the same pair of briefs from today, I'd have to say I don't mind."

"Good. Now then," she rushed back into her room to grab another shirt and a pair of panties too small for her. "Geeze, I hope these fit Rei…I haven't had to wear these since high school…."

"Ew…" I blinked.

"Huh? OH, no, I kept them clean all these years in case I ever went back down to a size 2, but I doubt that will happen with my ass as big as it is…" Misato moped as she stared at her rear.

"I…Didn't need to hear that…" I looked away.

"You disappoint me, Shinji," my guardian sighed. "I was expecting you to at least agree with me. But, you are just a boy and were just trying to be polite."

"More or less," I gave a sigh too.

"Done!" Rei opened the bathroom door, wrapped in a beige towel. "All yours, nii-chan," she smiled with pure joy.

"R-Rei…!" I gulped as I looked away again.

"Rei…" Misato came for the save. "Get changed in the first room down the hall. That'll be your room." I heard her hand my sister the shirt and underwear as she skipped to the room and shut the door.

"Is she gone?" I peeked around my shoulder.

"Yep. Quirky one, that girl. If it wasn't for the face, you'd swear she wasn't related to the commander…" my violet-haired superior gave a groan as she tossed me my nightwear. I headed to the bathroom and locked the door. Lord knows if Rei might decide to take another bath just because I was in here.

"Come to think of it…" I blinked after rinsing off my soap suds before entering the tub. "Why is Rei so infatuated with me?" I bet having her twin brother die when she was just a toddler must have scarred her for life. Maybe she blamed herself all these years for not being able to prevent me from dying, and so now she wanted to make up for something she had no control over? I couldn't tell. Maybe she just really wanted her brother back…

"Stupid fairy…" I gave a sigh while soaking. "Saying I'll be in a world where Rei will want to date me, and instead she sends me to a world where she's my sister. Some joke that was…"

"It wasn't a joke, silly," I heard Asuka as I looked over to see the Asuka-fairy sitting next to me in the tub.

"Gah-!" I covered my mouth so as not to alarm Misato and Rei. Who knows what kind of mess having them see me with a naked girl in the bathroom would lead to. "What are you doing here?" I asked in a whisper as I tried to keep my eyes facing hers.

"Just checking up. And no, I didn't send you to a world where Rei was your sister. Just a world where you're the only man left," she corrected me like Asuka would.

"But, that means that…!" I paused at the shear horror of what that meant. I submerged myself into the warm bathwater and curled in a ball as I remembered the time I went to Rei's house…and saw her naked…and accidentally touched her…her…

"Puah!" I surfaced for air, holding myself in disgust. "Please….PLEASE…" I begged the fairy. "PLEASE tell me Rei isn't really my sister in my world….!"

"Fine, Rei isn't really your sister in your world. But you know, denial is the first sign of a problem, Shinji-boy," she purred as she blew wind into my ear.

"B-But…It's not fair!" I whispered angrily. "She's cute and nice…" I actually started to sob pathetically at the revelation.

"But, look on the bright side," the fae giggled impishly. "This world's Rei is more approachable, right?"

"You…aren't…HELPING…!" I fumed.

"Or so you say," she winked as she poofed out of existence before my eyes.

"Great…The girl I had a crush on and saw naked is my sister…." I moped as I finished my bath and exited.

"Nii-chan, dinner's ready!" the voice I dreaded to hear chirped as I headed to the place I knew would be my room.

"Hey, what's up, Shinji?" Misato asked as she slopped curry into a cup of noodles. "Aren't you hungry?"

"No…" I groaned as I flopped onto my bed and drifted to sleep, hoping this was all a dream. That I was a mostly useless Eva pilot bullied by Asuka and ignored by a non-related Rei Ayanami with my Father still alive and an ass. But…All I could think of was Mother…Well…I suppose that was worth the torment of having my sister being a girl I liked…

To Be Continued!

Author's Notes:

Well, sorry for the slow update, I have numerous projects for fictionpress I work on, and creativity doesn't hit me consistently. Sorry the ending here seemed a bit Emo-ish, but I assure you that more funny stuff will happen. And, despite the few nudity scenes here at Misato's house, this story will (at the most) have a twist of citrus goodness in it (maybe). If I wanted to write hentai, I'd do SO much worse and leave out the funny parts.

Oh, and the whole 'fraternal twins' thing is there for a reason, not because I couldn't think of a way to have Shinji and Rei as siblings.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Shameless Blabbering:

Golly-gee! You folks sure like my story so far! Pyon! Now I'll lead you to a magical world of golden butterflies, rainbow fishies and-

-We apologize for this disruption of your reading. All those responsible for this moment of idiocy have been sacked.-

ANYWAYS….I'm glad I got so many good reviews for this at only 2 chapters thus far. To be honest, I figured this would be like most of my other works on fictionpress(dot)com and be ignored. Well, nonetheless, glad you all like it so far. I wonder if Legato Deathscythe would think of this as crap?????? Well, it's not like I'm doing a cursed '6th Child' piece or a dreaded 'different Eva pilots' or, -shudders- blatantly gratuitous lemons with or without yaoi. In the end, I think that I'm doing a damn good job with-

-We apologize again for this long-winded blithering of stupidity. All those responsible have been sacked as well as those responsible for the first sacking. We now present to you a version written by our staff in Sri Lanka working on this piece for a penny a page.-

Mind you, moose-bites can be dangerous…

Disclaimer:

I don't own the rights to Evangelion, it's names, characters, devices, and things associated with it. Gainax and Anno do. I also don't own the rights to anything else mentioned here that was already copyrighted, including the opening credit jokes for Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Really, I'm not that original of a guy… :emo:

I awoke with an aching stomach that begged to be filled and an incredible weight on my left side. I also heard a light sucking sound on me. Blinking I looked over to my left to see…

…Rei Ayanami in the pj's Misato gave to her last night…!

"Gah!" I fell out of bed and scrambled to the wall. What the hell was she doing here?? Then I realized the horrid truth: yesterday was no dream!

I froze in place for what felt like an eternity, until I noticed the sucking sound was still happening. Carefully, I tip-toed to the bed and peered down at Rei to see…

Rei's hand was to her face, her thumb planted inside her mouth as she suckled instinctively

"Mmkph!" I held my hand over my mouth and nose to prevent an exhale of laughter. I dashed to the bathroom and locked the door, letting loose a guffaw befitting a TV show medium with dreadlocks. After my chuckle-fest came to its conclusion and I did my usual morning routine of emptying the tank, I decided to try and get back into the swing of things.

"I wonder if Misato has any breakfast stuff yet…?" I asked no one absentmindedly as I looked through the fridge. There wasn't much, but I managed to find the necessities to make my new family's breakfast. I placed the bread into the toaster slots while I mixed the squeezable miso soup paste into bowls with my free hand before microwaving them each until they were piping warm.

"Okay, now for the rice," I nodded to myself as I took the instant foods and poured them into a cooking pot to boil.

When I finished with the carb-portion of our meal, I looked in the freezer to see some fish fillets that were microwaveable. Well, I couldn't really complain.

It didn't take long for the scents of my culinary works to attract my roommates.

"Mmm…." Rei yawned as I heard her walk to the kitchen. "Something smells good, nii-chan."

"Good morning, Rei," I turned to see my sister with frizzy hair. "The toast will be done any second, and the miso soup is ready to eat."

"Wow…I didn't know you could cook, nii-chan. That's good. I don't think I can eat Misato's cooking again…" She sighed.

"Why's that?" our stand-in matron yawned as she made her way to the room.

"Eep!" my sister gulped. "Um….Well, because it was just…too…filling! Yes, filling!"

"Oh, sorry to hear that," Misato shrugged. "Next time I'll make less so there isn't to much to fill you up then."

"Yeah…Sure…" Rei somehow turned a shade of pale that would make chalk seem dark.

"So, what's for breakfast, Shinji?" the captain asked as she rummaged through the fridge for a Yebisu.

"Miso soup, rice, toast with butter, and some microwave fish," I nodded. "Though, I wouldn't suggest you drink anything yet…"

"Hm? Hey! Don't you know that a traditional Japanese breakfast includes sake in it?" Misato humphed.

"That's not what I meant…" I gave a groan. "I meant how our mother doesn't want you to drink anymore."

"One drink now isn't going to hurt," was all she had to say as a retort before swigging the can. "Yeeeeeehaaaaaaaaw! –Urp!- Now that's a good way to wake up!" she beamed.

"Alcoholic…" Rei muttered under her breath.

I finally scooped the rice into three small bowls for each of us.

"Oh! Let me help, nii-chan," Rei chirped as we both set the table up. We all took our seats together and gave a triumphant 'Itadakimasu!' before digging into our meal.

"Mm…Good fish, Shinji!" Misato smiled as she added some soy sauce to her rice and nuked ichthyoid. "Did you add anything to it?"

"Just some salt and pepper," I nodded as I munched my rice.

"For instant miso," Rei smiled as she ate more of her soup. "This tastes pretty good, nii-chan."

"Thanks, Rei," I smiled back as we continued to eat. When we finished, Rei and I cleaned up the table and washed the dishes together while Misato snatched a second drink from the fridge.

"Alright you two," she said after popping the top to her beverage. "Be sure to shower up and I'll give you some clean clothes for today."

"Where are we going?" I blinked.

"Silly nii-chan," Rei fake-punched my shoulder. "We're getting clothes and school supplies for us today, remember?"

"Oh!" I nodded. "Right, and are we going to see Mother too?"

"Assuming she isn't already busy," Misato replied with a sip. "The commander has a busy schedule at Nerv, so it may be a few days before you get to see her again."

"Oh, alright…" I gave a sigh. I had wanted to see Mother again. But having Rei here as my sister made me feel comfortable still. I had a family that cared about me now, so I definitely saw no reason to feel bad about not seeing Mother for a bit.

"Cheer up, nii-chan," my sister flicked some soapy water at my cheek, giggling. "Today we get to do some shopping just for us, plus we get to spend the day together after such a long time apart."

"That's true," I nodded joyfully. We finished putting away the dishes and cleaning the kitchen, Rei and I heading to the bathroom at the same time….

"Um, Rei?" I looked at her as I stopped at the door.

"Hm? What?" she blinked.

"We're not supposed to take a shower together…" I felt my cheeks turn pink.

"But it'll save water, nii-chan," she pointed out as if that was her true motive. I highly doubted this world's Rei was that concerned about the environment that she would go this far.

"Rei….Just go on ahead," I headed to my room to wait. I still was getting the willies from her obsessive behavior.

"Fine, suit yourself, nii-chan," my twin stuck her tongue out at me playfully as she hopped into the shower. I flopped onto my bed and rubbed my temples in frustration.

"She's your sister…She's your SISTER…" I still was having a hard time coming to terms with this.

"Oh, Shinji-dear?" Misato poked her head into my doorway. "I've got some clothes for Rei, could you be a dear and put them in the bathroom for her to dress in when she's done?"

"What?!" I fell off my bed with a loud thump. "Why me?"

"Cuz' I need to figure out what the hell I'm gonna wear today before I hit the shower next. Besides, if you do it quickly enough, she won't notice."

Misato…must have been taking joy in seeing Rei creep me out.

"Alright…" I blushed as I went to my guardian and took the clothing in her hands. I snuck to the bathroom and carefully placed the clothing onto the sink counter, tip-toeing my way to the exit when I heard the sound of shower curtains opening and steam pouring into the room. There, dripping wet, nude, and smiling was Rei Aya-…Ikari….Looking at me with a an innocent glee that had to have been fake.

"Oh, nii-chan! You did decide to come in with me after all. I'm so glad," she smiled, but I had a hard time focusing on anything above her neck…

"Uh…! N-No!" I quickly left the room and spoke through the door. "I j-just came to give you the clothes Misato was lending you! Nothing more!"

"Oh? Oh, well thank you anyways, nii-chan," was all she said as she closed the curtains.

"This…Is gonna take some getting used to…." I took a breath and laid back on my bed, trying to think about anything BUT my sister taking a shower.

I wasn't too successful.

I couldn't get rid of my….you know…because I couldn't and didn't want to use the regular method of doing so. So, I just tried to wait until Rei was done and headed to the shower.

However…

"Oh no you don't!" Misato yanked me out by my collar. "I need the shower next. Just wait, okay, Shinji?" she smiled to me briefly before locking me out.

"Um…Sure…" Maybe this world's Misato was a bit more selfish…

"She kicked you out, huh, nii-chan?" Rei giggled from behind as I turned to see her in…normal clothes??

"Rei?" I blinked. She wore a deep blue dress with a white over-shirt unbuttoned, a really nice outfit to see her in!

"Oh, you like the clothes?" she twirled around and gave me a smile. "Misato sure had good taste at our age. I mean, I have a few dresses like this too, but this one with the over-shirt makes it feel so much comfier."

"Other dresses like that?" I then looked back to her eyes.

"Well, yeah," she shrugged. "What, do you think that I just wear my school uniform and the plugsuit?" My sister gave a satisfied giggle before hugging me. "You're so silly, nii-chan."

"Yeah, I suppose I am," I gave a chuckle back.

"So anyways," Rei let go of me and took me to the living room where we sat together on the couch. "I've been wondering something, nii-chan."

"Hm?" I blinked.

"Do you remember…our family when we were little?" she asked with a more…how shall I put it…innocent face.

"Our family?" my eyes widened. To be honest, I remembered very little about my early childhood before Mother died and Father rejected me. "No…I can't say that…I can…" I looked down, memories of my past in my world bringing out sorrowful emotions.

"Nii-chan…?" Rei asked with trepidation as she held onto me. I began to sniffle at the thought of it all. Father…I bet he could care less right now that I was gone. I bet he already found a replacement for me and had given up on searching for me all together. That bastard…! "Shinji!" my sister finally snapped me back to reality while holding my shoulders tightly.

"R-Rei…?" I breathed as I looked into her eyes.

"Nii-chan…" she too began to cry as she hugged me with all her might. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to make you cry…I'm so sorry…Please, you don't have to remember if it'll make you sad. Just…don't cry, nii-chan…"

I…I couldn't help myself. I held onto my twin and sobbed into her shoulder. But I wasn't crying because I was sad now, I was just glad that Rei cared about me. I wished that I lived in this world all my life, in a world where I had a caring family still. I felt her stroke my head as I clung to her in my sobbing, her soft voice cooing me in between bawls.

"Shh….It's gonna be alright, nii-chan…" she calmed me down. "You have me and Mom now…And we're gonna take good care you, so don't worry…"

When I finally stopped crying all together, I parted to look at Rei again.

"Thanks, Rei," I gave her one last hug.

"Hey, I made a promise when we were little, right?"

"A promise?" I looked back at her.

"Mom told me, when we were little, that I was gonna be your protector," she smiled with still teary eyes. "I lost you once, but I promise this time that I'll make sure nothing will happen to you. Not just because you're the future of humankind, but because you're my big brother. Got it?"

"Yeah, thanks, Rei," I nodded.

"This is such a cute scene here," Misato fake-cried. "I'm so touched by it all."

"GAH!" my sister and I both jumped at Misato suddenly being beside us.

"My my," she purred. "You two certainly are a nice pair."

"Wh-Wh-What?!" I felt my cheeks and ears burn red. "N-No! It's…Um…You see…!"

"Oh, quit worrying, Shinji-boy," Misato rustled my hair with a grin. "Just messin' with ya. By the way, you might want to hit the shower while there's still some warm water left."

"Huh? Oh! Thanks, Misato," I nodded as headed to the bathroom, then stopped in place. "Um, Misato?" I turned back.

"What's up?" she blinked.

"Um, I don't have anything clean to wear…"

"Hm…" our guardian thought for a moment. "Well…There's always that…" she talked to herself in a scrutinizing expression. "Here, just get showered up and I'll have Rei bring in some clothes for you, alright?"

"Um…Sure…" I flushed again as I went in and undressed. The water was warm for a bit, but it got cooler as the minutes went on, no matter how hot I turned it. "Dammit…" I groaned as I continued to scrub my hair with the fragrant shampoo Misato used. I heard the door open to the bathroom and saw the outline of Rei with a bundle of clothes in her arms as she placed the load on the counter.

"There ya go, nii-chan!" she poked her head inside the shower smiling.

"Yaaaah!" I covered myself in terror and embarrassment at my sister looked at me. "REI! G-GET OUT!" I squealed futilely with my reddened face.

"Wow…you're so trim, nii-chan…" I saw my sister's eyes widened as her cheeks went a pale pink. "And even your-"

"OUT!" I shut the curtain over her face and curled in a ball on the shower floor.

"Um…Uh…See ya in a bit, nii-chan…" Rei's voice trembled with a mix of joy and shock.

"Goddammit…" I trembled, the cold shower water not even phasing me. "Why'd she have to be my sister….???" I gulped. It took an angry knock on the door from Misato to bring me back to the present and finish showering. After drying off, I looked at my outfit…and felt the blood leave my face at the contents…

…

When I came out of the bathroom, slowly mind you, I avoided the anxious stares of Misato and Rei at how I appeared. I was dressed in a blue mid-length skirt, knee-high socks, a yellow tank-top, and polka-dot panties underneath…

…Surely…I must be the unluckiest guy ever…

"-Snkf!- Not…-mkph!-…Bad, Shin-chan…!" Misato fought back her giggles.

"I…hehehehe….Have to admit...it suits you, nii-chan….!" Rei tried to repress her laughter as well.

"This….This…!" I tried to argue, my voice cracking at the worst time again. "This is absurd! Why can't I wear more boy-like clothes, Misato!?" I felt like crying with how embarrassing this all felt. The draft between my legs didn't' help make it easier, either.

"We…We can't let you stand out today while we're shopping, Shinji…" Misato's face was warped into a big dumb grin. "You should feel proud that you're so cute as a teen boy that you look like a girl…!"

"I suppose I'll just have to call you 'nee-chan' for the day," Rei mewed.

To Be Continued…

Author's Afterthoughts:

Sorry for the slow update. I'm having writers' block with everything these days. I was going to have this chapter include the shopping, but I decided to keep it with just showing the beginning of Shinji's new life with Rei and Misato, which has already shown some…interesting moments. Oh, a cookie goes out to anyone who can find the slight Bleach references I made.

Asuka: "Hey! Why the hell aren't I in here!?"

Crash: "Well, we haven't gotten to that part of the storyline yet…"

Asuka: "Well just skip ahead already!"

Crash: "Well, maybe I can skip ahead in a few chapters…I mean, this doesn't have to be completely in tune with the original timeline."

Asuka: "Good! So then, nothing's really changed about me, right?"

Crash: "Well….Um…Some things are still there like your proud demeanor and stuff…Uh…Here, this is a basic outline for what the 'Asuka Strikes Redux' will be like."

-hands Asuka the plot synopsis.-

-Asuka reads it-

-Asuka's eye quivers as she grinds her teeth in rage.-

Asuka: "Whyyyyyy yooooouuuuuu…!"

Crash: "Um, think of it as artistic-"

-Asuka punches Crash so hard he makes escape velocity and plows into the moon along side the Lance of Longinus.-

-Crash dies of asphyxiation and being turned inside out from the vacuum of space.-

Crash: "Tis but a scratch…"


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer:

Disclaimer:

I don't own the rights to Evangelion and its related characters and names, GAINAX and Anno do. No real reason to state that though since they can't sue a broke guy like me for that stuff…-sighs-

Author's Yammering:

Well howdy all you spiffy Eva-fans! Long time no see! Well, finally got off my lazy ass and decided to write more since the little teaser with Asuka at the end of last chapter got me anxious to hurry up to that part. Mind you, the ending for all this still needs some thinking out, but hopefully I'll have something planned. Might end up using an ending idea I had planned for 'Metal Gear Eva-Thingy', depending on whether or not I manage to write more for that story later.

Yosh! Let's get started!

Chapter 4

God have mercy on me, I was in a skirt…And out in PUBLIC!

It was odd enough being the only person with balls and a wang, but now I was cross-dressing too….Rei clung to my arm as Misato walked with us through town (thankfully we didn't need to drive), heading to our shopping destinations.

"Nii-…Um, I mean, nee-chan," Rei giggled. "How's it feel to be out in a city again?" she asked gleefully.

"Um…Alright…" I blushed as I felt the wind tickling my bare legs under my skirt. "Tokyo-3 s-seems pretty developed…."

"Yeah," Misato smiled back at us. "After Second Impact, we had a lot of cleaning up to do since male things weren't necessary anymore, so shops got renovated, bathrooms got redone, and basically we had more room to build off new ideas and fix things up. It's a shame men had to be eradicated to get the world in such a good condition," she sighed.

We passed by a construction lot, several female laborers looking over at the three of us, whistling and making cat-calls. I felt so mortified when…

…Misato struck a pose for the ladies, showing off her ass with a scandalous hip-swaying. Oh god….was Misato a lesbian here?!

"Ms. Misato!" Rei blushed as she pulled her arm and we ran past the lot. "What was that for?"

"What?" she grinned. "It's not like I was doing any harm by giving those gals some fan-service while they work their asses off."

"B-But it's indecent!" Rei puffed her cheeks in anger.

"Fine fine," our guardian chuckled. "Okay, first stop is just around the corner," she winked as we finally came to a clothing store for young women.

Odd thing was, it was closed.

"Um, Misato…" I blinked. "It isn't open right now…"

"Of course it's open," she grinned as she took out her Nerv ID badge and slid it across a security device. A green light flashed on the instrument and the doors opened. In the store the lights were off, but the daytime sunlight illuminated the facility plenty. At a counter was a woman around the same age as Misato, smiling happily as we came in.

"Captain Katsuragi, Ms. Ikari, and…Mr. Ikari," she looked over to me and my sister. "Glad you could all make it."

"Um, do we know you?" I paused. She knew I was a guy?!

"You may not recognize me," she winked. "But I was the sergeant that brought you into Nerv yesterday. I've been ordered to keep watch over you today while you pick out your clothing, so as not to expose your presence to the world just yet."

"Oh, well, thanks," I nodded. She was rather pretty with her long wavy auburn hair and tan skin. "So, um is there anything a guy like me could wear?"

"Yes, but it's a tad bit feminine I'm afraid, Mr. Ikari," she headed to a tomboy clothing department. "Your briefs will be panties, but other than that and the tight shirts, you should find the clothes comfortable."

"D-Do they have to be panties?" I gulped.

"Well, the briefs you found yesterday aren't too common, and they aren't carried in this particular store, Mr. Ikari," the sergeant smiled. "But don't worry. Even though you're a guy, there are plenty of panties perfectly proportional to male briefs."

I felt my face go pink.

"It's okay, nii-chan," Rei put her hand on my shoulder. "Ms. Misato and I won't think anything wrong about it. Besides," she beamed. "Eventually we can get the regular underwear. Just bear with it for now."

"W-Well…Alright," I nodded uneasily. "So…Uh…I should try something on, right?"

"Hold on a sec, Shinji," Misato finally spoke up. "This isn't like boys' clothing. We need to get your measurements."

"Measurements?" I blinked. I was a small in men's clothing, so I doubted that I was any different than a small or medium in women's clothes, right?

Wrong.

The sergeant looked though the front counter's drawer and pulled out a piece of measuring tape, a pen, and a pad. Rei and Misato then began stripping me to my underwear!

"Wha-! Hey! What are you-??" I gulped as my sister covered my mouth.

"Shhh! This is a secret fitting, nii-chan!" Rei whispered. I nodded as I calmed down, my face still red though.

"Now then," the sergeant took the tape and Misato the pen and pad. Instantly, my bare arms were lifted up as the tape was wrapped around my chest and then my arms were placed down.

"Hm…63 centimeters," the sergeant read to my guardian.

"Well, once he starts eating, he should gain some muscle," Misato noted.

Next the tape was wrapped around my waist.

"48 centimeters."

"Awfully scrawny for a boy, Shinji," Misato hummed as she wrote the measurement down.

Then my hips were measured, I tried to fight my thermal expansion as the sergeant's hand went in that area, touching my bare skin at just above the panties I was in. In no time at all…

"Ooh!" she squeaked. "Uh, well, this is a first," she smiled with a blush.

"You've never seen one?" Misato asked with a cat that ate the canary grin.

"No, afraid not. I was nine when Second Impact happened, so I never got to see a real one…." Her eyes were glued to my exposed tip, my body jittering at the entirety of this situation.

"Wow…" Rei too ogled at the sight. "It's so-"

"Um! Can we PLEASE move on!" I pleaded. All three women looked back at me with blushes and uneasy smiles.

"Yeah…"

"Of course…"

"S-Sure thing, nii-chan…"

Great…I was at the mercy of three perverted women…one of them being my SISTER too!

"S-So…Uh, what was his hip measurement?" Misato wiped the sweat off her forehead.

"Huh…?" the sergeant blinked. "Oh! Um, 74 centimeters."

"Okay. Thanks, Shinji," my lavender-haired guardian winked. "Now we can get you clothing that'll fit."

I won't bother you with the details, but basically I tried on various tomboyish clothes that fit surprisingly fine. Though…it still felt…weird being in panties…even if they were supposed to be like briefs…

When all was said and done, Misato paid for the several sets of clothes I got with her Nerv income, the three of us walking out of the store discreetly.

"Where to now?" I asked, clad in a short-sleeved blue shirt and straight-leg jeans.

"Shoes, Shinji," Misato smiled.

"But…My feet are…" I tried to say it nicely.

"Too big for women's?" Rei chirped teasingly.

"Well…Yeah…"

"No sweat, nii-chan," she clung to my arm once more. "I'm sure we can find girls' shoes that'll fit you just fine."

"Well, alright then," I smiled back. After trying on several women's sizes at the shoe store, I bought a few converse sneakers and a pair of slippers for indoors (Rei and Misato getting matching pairs for themselves too).

We walked out of the store with Rei and me carrying my bags. It was about noon, and the weather seemed…chilly?

"What's with the weather?" I blinked. My skin prickled at the cooler air.

"What do you mean, nii-chan?" Rei looked back at me with a puzzled expression. "It's fall now, so it's supposed to be getting colder. I hope we get snow early, that way we can build a snowman like when we were little," she smiled pleasantly.

"Snow?" I paused. "Aren't we in an eternal summer from Second Impact, though?"

"What?" Rei raised her eyebrow at me.

"Second Impact had no effect on the weather, Shinji," Misato stared at me with a scrutinizing glare. "All it did was wipe out human males."

"Oh…" I blinked. "So, it still snows here in Tokyo-3?"

"Yeah."

I was silent and tried to think of something to change the subject.

Then a low rumbling in my belly did the job for me.

"You know, I'm kinda hungry too, nii-chan," Rei giggled. "Ms. Misato," she turned to our would-be matron. "We should take Shinji to that beef pot restaurant."

"Akibiko?" Misato blinked. "Yeah! Sure, we can afford to eat there. Besides, we can always bring leftovers home with us and save the instant food for later."

I was relieved to hear that at least.

The restaurant was an indoor greenhouse-like building, the interior shaped like a jungle with real trees embedded into the structure.

"Wow…" I gulped. "Things certainly have changed about Tokyo-3…"

"Yup," Rei beamed. "And the best part nii-…uh…Nee-chan, is that it's all healthy foods and organic ingredients."

Another reason I was glad we were eating here. A man…er…people can't live on instant ramen alone, after all.

"Yeah," Misato smiled proudly as we were shown our seats by a waitress. "And the beef here is low-fat and made from cows only fed the healthiest foods and kept in clean environments."

"Wow…" I gawked again as we sat. This really WAS a perfect world! "SO, um, what are you two gonna get?" I asked as I looked at the menu. It all sounded so nice, both western and eastern cuisines.

"I'll probably get a BLT salad with a bowl of chili," Misato closed her menu shortly after looking in it.

"Hm…" Rei thought for a moment. "I think I'll get a fruit salad and a fish fillet."

I blinked at her order.

"Rei? You don't mind meat?" I asked.

"Well, fish and the occasional chicken here and there," she shrugged. "but I'm not one for any other animal flesh. I gotta keep my figure in check after all," she giggled.

"Oh, alright," I nodded. Some things were the same at least. A tall girl in her twenties came to our table, prepared to write.

"How're ya'll doin' today?" she asked with a strong Kansai accent.

"Fine," the three of us smiled. I looked back at the menu. The turkey burger sounded nice, so I decided to order that when it was my turn.

"I'll have a bacon-lettuce-tomato salad with a bowl of the Tex-Mex chili," Misato ordered first.

"Fruit salad and a fish fillet, please," Rei smiled.

"Um, a turkey burger with fries instead of a salad," I finally said.

"Alrighty," she looked back at what she wrote and told us our orders. "That's a BLT salad with the chili, a fish fillet with a fruit salad, and a turkey burger meal with fries. And ya'll's drinks?"

"Diet cola with a lemon twist," our guardian handed her menu to the waitress.

"Ginger ale," my sister handed hers then.

"Do you have root beer here?" I asked as I handed my menu to her.

"Yup."

"Okay, I'll have that then," I smiled.

"Okie-dokie," she winked. "I'll have ya'll's drinks soon and your meals will be ready in a bit," she waved as she left.

"So now," Rei finally spoke up. "Ms. Misato, did Mom say anything about when nii-…er, nee-chan would start school with me?"

"Hm? Oh," Misato nodded. "Yeah, she called last night while you two were in bed. Shinji," she turned to me. "You start class tomorrow. That's not too soon, is it? I mean, I bet it's quite a leap from well…wait, did you ever go to school?" she blinked.

"Um, well…" I started to sweat. Misato couldn't know the truth! "I was…privately tutored…Yeah…that's all."

"Oh…Alright. Well, do you think you can fit in at school without making a commotion about…" she leaned in to whisper. "…being the last male?"

"Uh, yeah I think so," I nodded quietly.

"He'll have me to protect him too," Rei beamed.

The color left Misato's face at my sister's remark.

"Uh, you don't have to Rei….I mean, we can get agents that look young enough to pass as students to watch him in secret…" she leered.

There it was again. Something about Rei creeped Misato and the rest out. What was it?

I didn't get to pry as our drinks arrived, and within a minute our meals did too. Maybe it was because I hadn't eaten at a restaurant in months, but the food there tasted excellent! No, INCREDIBLE! The remainder of the day was spent with getting me a school bag as well as basic school supplies like mechanical pencils, a flash disk for computer work, and pens and paper.

We all made it home by sunset, Misato calling dibs on the bath before Rei and I could even get our shoes off at the doorway.

"Well," I chuckled. "I need to put my clothes away anyhow," I smiled as I left my extra shoes at the cubby.

"Want me to help?" Rei asked kindly.

"Sure," I smiled. Maybe having Rei as my sister was a good thing. Despite the bathroom incidents, she was a lot nicer to me than her counterpart from my world. Well, this world's Rei also had emotions, so that accounted for a lot of that.

"Say, nii-chan," she asked me as we unpacked my shopping bags.

"Hm?" I looked up.

"There's a lot of afterschool clubs at our middle school. If you want, I can give you a tour of my club."

"Oh? Sure, that's awfully nice of you, Rei," I smiled back.

"Cool! I think you'll like the club a lot. It's a good way to relax and make friends. Plus I can be there to make sure you're safe."

Wow, having a sister was awesome. Since I was an only child (well, technically anyways) back in my world, I never really had anyone to talk to my age since I wasn't too social. I mean, sure I had Kensuke and Toji, but in this world they didn't exist. So, having Rei, and a friendly and warm-hearted one at that, be here for me made up for all those lonely years.

After unpacking, Rei went to her room, which now had several boxes in it. I suppose those were her belongings form her old apartment. Odd thing was, it was more than I thought she ever had.

"Want me to help?" I blinked. There must have been a dozen basket-ball sized boxes throughout her room's floor. I guess the movers weren't too concerned with how to move about it until it was all unpacked.

"Oh, no, it's okay," my sister waved with a smile. "It's my stuff, so you don't need to, nii-chan."

"But you helped me unpack, even if it wasn't much," I smiled as I helped her open a box of shirts and jackets. "Besides, it'll help the unpacking go by faster."

"Well, if you insist," Rei stuck her tongue out at me with a smile. Most of her belongings were clothes, but I found that one box contained a laptop with a digital camera attached.

"You have a computer?" I blinked. I didn't think my world's Rei had one of these.

"Yeah," she beamed as she took the contents of the box out and set it up at her desk. "I have a friend over in Europe right now and we correspond via video mail and email. Her name's Asuka Langley Sohryu. Her mom's the head Evangelion scientist in the Germany branch of Nerv. Actually, Asuka's also the Second Child and pilot of Eva Unit 02."

So, Asuka was still the same it seemed. But what really caught my attention was…

"Wait, she's you friend?" I blinked. Last I remembered, Asuka hated Rei in my world. In fact, they never met until the day of the Seventh Angel's attack.

"Yeah," Rei smiled as she plugged in her laptop and started it up at her desk. "We met when we were just toddlers, actually, you met her too, though you probably don't remember her. Our dads died from Second Impact's effects and after you…uh…well, passed away, our moms decided that having us be friends would help us through our grief. She's kinda bossy and can be a bit domineering, but she's also pretty noble and honest. I think you'll like her, nii-chan."

"Uh…Yeah…" I smiled weakly, remembering all the times Asuka down-talked me and beat me up at home. Well, if she could get along with this world's Rei, maybe she was a bit nicer than my world's Asuka.

Rei's desktop appeared then, showing a poster from some anime I had faint memories of seeing here and there back in my world, her dozen or so program icons lined up neatly.

"Let's see…" Rei clicked this and that to open up a window displaying wifi connectivity. I didn't think we had that here at the apartment, though… "Hm…'linksys' is always there, but I'm guessing 'KatsuRyou' is Ms. Misato's network. Now then…the passcode…" she rubbed her chin for a moment before typing madly, various programs and windows popping up as she entered various symbols and numbers all at once in blanks. It was like Rei was a computer programmer or…

"Uh, Rei, are you a hacker?" I blinked as she finally cracked the code and linked to our house's network.

"Hm?" my sister looked over to me with a smile. "Yup!" she grinned happily. "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think I could stand a chance in programming skill against Dr. Ritsuko, let alone Dr. Naoko."

"Dr. Naoko?" I asked.

"Ritsuko's mom, the sub-commander for Nerv and Mom's right-hand lady. She's been with Mom and Nerv back when it was still called Gehern, like, back when we were just newborns. She helped make the Magi computers. Really awesome woman, she made the computers by basing them off her thought patterns as a scientist, a woman, and a mother. Dr. Ritsuko promised me that one of these days she or Ms. Maya would let me try working with a dummy program of the Magi and try to get it all synchronized and started up, you know, for practice. Once the Angel threat is done with, I wanna be a computer programmer. That or a mom. Maybe I can juggle both like Mom did with her career," she sighed in delight. Rei did remind me of a mother back in my world, and this world's Rei even had ambition to become one in the future.

"Sooo…Am I interrupting anything?" Misato turned out attention to her steamy and towel-clad form. And by towel-clad, I mean that she was in just panties with a towel draped over her shoulders that barely covered her breasts!

"Gah!" I looked away, hoping I didn't get a bloody nose.

"Ms. Misato!" Rei squeaked as I heard her walk up to our guardian. "We're a co-ed house now! You can't dress so…scantly anymore!" she fumed as I heard her push the older woman out of her room, closing the door. "At least put on a shirt or bra…Or both…"

"Is she gone…?" I asked as I peeked over my shoulder.

"Yeah," my sister sighed. "Sheesh, Mom would give her such a lecture if she knew she was being indecent in front of her son. Oh well, that'll change later, I guess."

"Well, Misato is the type to be lax on things, right?" I chuckled.

"That's for sure," Rei giggled back. "Say, nii-chan…" Rei asked, her pale cheeks a slightly pink shade. "Wanna take a bath?"

"Um…!" I gulped. "Um, with or without you…?" I leered.

"What do you mean without?" she blinked. "Are you saying you'd rather have Misato scrub your back?" That couldn't have been her reason for doing this…There just was no way that was all it was.

"Uh…I can manage on my own…But…Uh…thanks…" I felt my forehead collect sweat.

"Well, okay, go on and take your bath then. Just don't pull the plug. I wanna take one too."

"Alright then," I nodded with a blush. Geez…There was no end to it was there?

I scrubbed and rinsed before sinking into the nice hot water, my skin tingling in tranquility as my body's tensions ceased.

"Aaahhh…." I sighed with relief. "Better…"

"I dunno, having that cutie Rei in here with you could make it better still," I heard Asuka mew teasingly. Looking in front of me, I saw the fairy again!

"Mmmph!" I covered my mouth to prevent a sound from being uttered. "Wh-what are you doing here again?" I asked in a low whisper.

"Oh, just checking up," she beamed aloud.

"SSSHHH!" I tried to hush her.

"Oh, mellow out Shin-chan," she laughed. "Only you can see or hear me right now. Besides," she stood up to reveal her Asuka-duplicate body shining with dripping water. I wanted to look away, but found that my neck muscles wouldn't budge and my eyes would only blink and not close all the way. Was I really a pervert like Asuka always accused me of being?? "You're getting to see Asuka naked without any repercussions. Like she said, you should be thankful of your fortune," she flicked my nose playfully.

"B-But…" I gulped.

"Oh, my butt? You naughty boy, Shin-chan," she purred as she turned around, showing me her soft and temptingly squeezable rear…

"No!" I shook my head, smacking my face with my palms. "Dead puppies…Rotting zombies…Misato's cooking…!" I tried to fight my rising heat between my legs.

"Such a boring boy…" the fae sighed as she sat back down in the tub with me.

"Like I told Asuka…I don't think of those things…" I blushed with my eyes closed.

"Pff! Ha! So says the boy who fantasized about Rei the night after defeating the 5th Angel!" she guffawed.

"W-What?? You know about that??" I gawked in horror, feeling the color leave my face.

"Oh, please, I'm a fairy," she giggled. "Spying on folks is my way of passing the time. You're probably the most entertaining one I've watched in decades. Hm…I wonder if Rei will be thinking about you again tonight…?" she asked aloud in a pensive tone.

My heart sank. My SISTER was fantasizing about ME!

"Just kidding!" she laughed haughtily. "Wow, you shoulda seen the look on your face!" she continued to laugh.

I just sank into the water and kept my eyes shut tightly. When I opened them again, the fairy was gone. At least that was over with.

I exited the bathroom about a half hour later, deciding to make something to eat from our instant food surplus stash.

"Did you have a good bath, nii-chan?" Rei asked merrily from the hallway.

"Yeah, more or less," I smiled back. I hoped that fairy really was kidding about that fantasizing part about Rei.

"Whatcha making?" she asked as she approached the kitchen.

"Oh, just a cup of ramen, maybe some instant miso soup again," I shrugged.

"Ooh, yeah, I'll have to get some after the bath. That way I can chow down while I check my mail some more. Asuka was supposed to send me a new video email today. Been a while since I saw her face and all."

"Oh, can I see the video with you?" I asked politely. It couldn't hurt to see this world's Asuka.

"Sure, just give me a half hour or so. I could really use a nice long bath ya know," she winked as she trotted off to the bathroom.

As I made my meal, I saw Penpen looking up at me with curiosity.

"Oh, uh hi Penpen," I waved to him.

"Wark?" he simply cocked his head to the side at me.

"You hungry?" I asked as I looked for his food. It turned out to be right where Misato left it in my world, so I poured him some marine bird chow with some kippers from his side of the fridge. The fish stank, but it was good to see Penpen hadn't changed.

"Oh, feeding Penpen, huh?" Misato came in later as I ate at the table. She was in her short night shirt and panties, and her hair was in a ponytail in the back. "Good to see that you found his food. I suppose I can count on you for getting him fed and watered, right Shinji?" she winked.

"Sure, no problem," I nodded.

"So, tell me," my guardian sat across from me at the kitchen table. "And be honest with me, Shinji," she gazed back at me with a soft but still tenacious stare. "What's the truth behind you?"

"Truth behind me?" I coughed on my ramen.

"Yeah. The Commander told me you've been kept safe as a final hope for humanity to rebuild itself. But that doesn't seem to fit. You don't know anything about Second Impact, you were out in the streets during an Angel attack, and you just don't seem like you really belong here. And yet…You were able to pilot the Eva with no experience whatsoever, and beat an Angel in a matter of minutes, all with a synch ratio of above fifty-percent. Be honest with me, Shinji. You can trust me."

I felt my heart stop all together. Would it be alright to tell Misato the truth? That I was from a different Earth? There'd be no way she would even believe the fairy part.

"Um…Well…" I looked away, trying to stall so I could find an alibi. But a sudden gripping of my head to direct my stare back at Misato as she was on top of the table, her eyes piercing back at me with more intensity than before.

"I want to know the truth, Shinji," she frowned. "Sorry I have to be like this towards you, but as operational chief at Nerv, I need to know any vital information for our situation that I can get a hold of."

"You…You wouldn't believe me if I told you…" I gulped.

"Try me," Misato grinned.

My breathing was long and deep, my mind racing. What if my true origins made me a danger? But I knew about the next eight or so Angels that would come, so I could save lives, right? I couldn't think straight or even come up with a strategy and

-CHIRP CHIRP- wet a cell phone from my guardian's room. It's chime alerted her to the fact that it was probably more than just a normal call, if she ever got any.

"Stay put. We're going to continue this conversation after I'm through on the phone, alright?" she raised her eyebrow at me as she left to take the call.

Relieved, even if it was for the moment, I tried to finish my meal. Rei left the bathroom shortly afterwards, clad in a silken baby-blue nighty.

"Ah, nii-chan," she came to me smiling. "C'mon," she pulled my hand as she led me to her room. "I'll show you Asuka's email." I stopped in place, though. "Hm? Nii-chan, what's wrong?" my sister asked conernedly.

"Misato…" I slumped. "She's prying about me again…"

"What?" her eyes widened. "Um…Shoot…Okay, um, let's see if we can-"

"If you can do what?" Misato came out of her room dressed in her captain's crimson uniform. "Are you two planning something?" she eyed us.

"Uh…" I blinked.

"Whatever…" she sighed. "I'm trusting you two to be on your best behavior while I'm gone. Apparently they need me at the base for the night-shift…"

"Oh…Um, well, good luck," I smiled weakly.

"Thanks," she took a breath and headed to the door to get her boots on. "Oh, and Shinji?" she turned back to me with a smile.

"Um, yes?"

"We'll continue our chat some other time, alright?" she grinned.

"Um, sure…" I felt sheepish all of the sudden.

"Well, don't stay up, you two. I'll probably be back tomorrow morning. Sleep tight." And with a slid of the door, Misato left the house to Rei and me.

All was silent for a bit until Rei finally gave my hand a squeeze.

"It's gonna be alright, nii-chan," she hugged me, planting on a kiss on my cheek. I was a bit shocked that Rei kissed me, even if it wasn't on my lips. "Now let's forget about that and see what Asuka had to say," she chirped as we headed into her room. My sister was already online and her email account opened up. There were two emails, one that was from feuerfreichick2000wahoo(dot)com with an email attachment, and another one from an unknown sender with the title 'pybaac'. The latter was probably just a spam email.

"Okies, let's see…" Rei grinned with girlish glee as she opened the email, revealing that the attachment was simply a .wav file. "Aww…." She moped. "Just a soundbyte. Oh well, better than just an electronic letter," she shrugged as she opened the attachment.

An audio playing program opened up and the file played in seconds.

"Hey there, Rei!" Asuka cheered happily. "Sorry I couldn't send you a vid-email. Our C.O. banned us from using web-cameras since SOME of the rookies thought it would be cute to sell their tits online and make some extra cash while here at the barracks," she sighed. "I mean, the other troops, sure, I can understand that, but ME?? I'm not some grunt, I should be able to send my best friend recorded video mail! I'm an Eva pilot for crying out loud! I should be an exception! Grrr…" Same old Asuka… "Well, anyways, for the time being, I'll just be sending you audio clips if I have the time to make them. But, I don't think that'll be for long, thankfully.

"I heard from the top brass that we're gonna move out to Tokyo-3 soon! Apparently your mom wants us out there soon since that Angel appeared. I'm SO excited right now I could just explode!" she squealed. "But anyways, I don't know when exactly they'll be shipping me out there. I've kinda been left in the dark for the past 24 hours despite the situation you guys faced. I heard though that it was Eva Unit 01 that defeated the Angel. Weird, I thought Unit 00 was designated as your Eva, right? Well, anyways, you'll have to tell me all about the fight when you get the chance, and don't leave any of the messy details out either! I wanna know what I'll be up against once I'm out there with you. Geez, I miss you so much, Rei. How long's it been since we got to be together in real life? Five, six years? Sheesh, it's so damn lonely not getting to see you like we were able to for that summer I flew out with Mom. Oh well, I can wait a few more months or so if it means we'll get to hang out together all the time. Yup!

"Well, let's see, nothing much else to report at my end, sadly. Just marksman and CQB training up the wazoo here at the base, same ol' same ol'. I'm just now starting to dislike eating nothing but MREs and freeze-dried flavored hydration drinks. I wanna have rice balls and real Japanese green tea again! Sheesh, I know the stuff they serve us is supposed to be complete meals with all the daily vitamins and nutrients for healthy soldiers, but CHRIST it gets boring after eating them for a few months! If it wasn't for the body-toning and discipline they've drilled into my head, I would have actually regretted being out here at Fort Hammerstein. Well, having that zPod Video you sent me for Christmas keeps me sane when there's nothing to do, I gotta thank you for the hundredth time for it. Well, it's already 2300 hours here, so I better rap this up and hope you get this sometime today on the 15th. I'll be waiting for your response. See ya!"

And then the file stopped. Wow, this world's Asuka sounded less…cruel than my world's Asuka did. And it seems her friendship with Rei went pretty deep. But the file confused me at certain parts. MREs…Aren't those military rations? Kensuke talked about them before. And barracks? Grunts? Rookies? The way things sounded…

"Rei…" I asked. "Is Asuka in the military or something?" I blinked.

"Hm? Yeah," she nodded. "Well, sorta, anyhow. As an Eva pilot, she's got incredible synch ratio scores and great VR test results, and she even was a child prodigy. She skipped several grades in her early years, and mastered speaking in Japanese when we were just five. She graduated from college two years ago, and decided to be a special cadet in the German National Defense League. Of course, she doesn't get to go to war since she's still too young to be a real soldier, but she gets the same training regiment as all the other women in her battalion. She's one tough cookie," Rei giggled.

"Wow…Incredible…" I awed at the information I was given.

"Yeah…She's something else…" Rei sighed in nostalgia. "Well, anyways, I better give her a video response to make her happy. She hates late emails," my albino sister giggled.

"Hey, can I be in the video too?" I asked.

"What?" she blinked. "Nii-chan, we can't risk exposing your existence until Mom gives us the ok. Don't worry, when Asuka gets here, she'll be surprised to meet you all over again. Besides, tomorrow's gonna be tough enough since you'll be going to school as a boy with me as your bodyguard."

"My bodyguard?" I blinked. "For real?"

"Uh-huh!" Rei beamed as she winked. "I promised I'd protect you, remember?"

"You're right," I smiled back. "You did promise, twice now," I nodded.

"Yeppo. Alrighty then. Let me just send my email to Asuka and then maybe I'll grab some instant food like you did."

"Sure, no problem," I nodded as I went to the living room to see what was on TV tonight. I had a big day ahead of me tomorrow, so I couldn't stay up too late. It was already past eight at night, the sun long set in the horizon. I wanted to enjoy my last day away from school while I could.

Epilogue to Chapter 4:

As Shinji left Rei's room, she waited until he was out of earshot to open the second email titled 'pybaac'. The sender was unknown because it was an encrypted message and the email station that it was sent from used a special set of hidden commands to cover its tracks from its original sending location. After much typing and calibrating, the message was translated to its original uncoded form.

_Rei,_

_I got your message about Captain Katsuragi's curiosity. I suspect she's going to try and get information out of Shinji. Be on your guard. I don't think we have to worry about her trust, it's that we can't afford to let her know the truth. I'll be having her working graveyard shifts for the next few weeks on days you two aren't doing synch tests. With this we can at least keep her from investigating too much into Shinji's appearance. I know you're excited about having Shinji back, but don't forget your purpose and your renewed charge of taking care of him. We can't allow any harm to come to your brother at all. Don't let him out of your sight, even if you have to follow him everywhere, and even if he gets annoyed or feels uncomfortable by it, you have to do it. I'll be in touch._

_-Mom_

"Right," Rei sighed. "Protect Your Brother At All Costs. No argument here, Mom," she gave a silent smile of agreement as she double encrypted and then erased the message completely. "I hope this will all work out, for your sake and my own, nii-chan," she looked out her door to see her brother quietly watching the television, unaware of what was going on in his sister's room.

Author's Notes:

I got you all with that last part of the chapter, didn't I? Yes, there is going to be a plot with this series beyond Shinji being the male protagonist of a harem-series. Don't worry, it won't all be serious, just at the important parts. Yeah, sorry for taking so damn long to write this; so much shit to deal with IRL. Oh well, hope I've gotten you all more interested in seeing what happens next! w00t!


	5. Chapter 5

Authro's Notes:

Author's Notes:

Well now, the plot thickens, eh? I'm flattered by all your comments and questions. The fairy ones especially. Believe it or not, this was just going to be a funny series, but I added the plot to make it more interesting, hence the fairy will be an important aspect later. Bet I got more of you interested now, lol.

Disclaimer:

Crash: I don't own the rights to Evangelion, it's characters, or themes, GAINAX and Anno do. Is that enough?

Policeman: No, afraid not. We're gonna have to take you down to the station for further questioning.

Crash: -whimpers pathetically-

Chapter 5

Last night seemed…normal (odd as it may sound). Rei snagged some instant ramen and we watched some TV together. It seems Rei has a thing for this one show about a girl with orange hair that goes about in a black kimono killing monsters and saving ghosts. The premise seemed nice, but I had no idea who was who and what was what to appreciate the show. Oh well, I'm sure my sister could get me caught up some time. After her show finished, we each said goodnight and went to bed in our rooms.

The following morning, I woke up early like usual, my left side weighed down again and the sucking sound there once more. Rubbing the sand out of my eyes, I looked over to see Rei, once again, in my bed and sucking her thumb!

"Rei...!" I gulped. She stirred over to her other side, allowing me to get out of bed and try to escape this moment of weirdness.

"She's your sister…." I reminded myself for the millionth time since I came to this world as I made breakfast like yesterday's. I was just about done when the front door slid open, revealing an exhausted and baggy-eyed Misato. "Uh…good morning, Misato," I smiled.

"Mornin'…" she yawned before kicking her boots off and collapsing in her room on her futon. I slid her door shut so she could get her sleep in peace, turning around to see Rei right behind me!

"Eep! Rei…" I sighed. "You scared me there…" I breathed as I checked to make sure my heartbeat wasn't irregular now.

"Sorry," she whispered with a wink. "Wow, poor Ms. Misato."

"Yeah," I smiled back. "She deserves the sleep."

"By the way, nii-chan," my sister pointed to the kitchen. "Your rice is over-boiling."

"What?? Gah!" I hurried to the pot of bubbly white rice to switch the burner off. At least I didn't make it smoke.

"Sheesh, nii-chan," Rei giggled. "You need to be sharper early in the morning. So, what's for breakfast anyways?"

"Rice," I said as I drained the water out of the pot. "Some toast, and fish fillets like yesterday." I finished setting up the food with my sister as we ate together.

"Itadakimasu!" we cheered quietly so as not to disturb our sleeping guardian. We both finished our meal and wrapped up the leftovers to place in the fridge for Misato. As I fed Penpen, I noticed Rei eye our aquatic bird with uneasiness. As if he knew, the little penguin gave an avian death-glare to my sister, to which she squeaked in fear as she looked away and got dressed in her room.

"I don't see why you don't like her," I rubbed Penpen's feathered head.

"Wark," he sighed.

"I know, she IS a little odd, but she's not a bad person, really," I gave a chuckle before heading to my room to change. According to Rei, it was normal for tomboyish girls to dress like boys with their uniforms and such, so at least I wouldn't stand out too much.

A gentle knocking at my closed door alerted me as I finished getting my pants on. The door slid to reveal Rei smiling with delight.

"Ready, nii-chan?" she beamed.

"Yeah," I nodded with a smile as I loaded up my school bag and we both headed off to class. I was relieved a bit to see that no one noticed me. One high school girl whistled at me with a wink, to which I looked away and tried to hide my blush. The school seemed the same as it was in my world, save the inhabitants all being female.

"Hi, Rei," a girl with bleached hair waved to us as we passed down the hall.

"Hey, Sara," my sister waved back.

"A friend of yours?" I asked pleasantly.

"Sorta. She's in my club."

"Oh, okay," I nodded as we continued to our classroom (the same room number as my old one). Our elderly sensei was busy at her desk, looking through paperwork until she saw Rei and me.

"Hm?" she squinted. "Oh, you must be Miss…Mister Shinji Ikari," she smiled. Not too many people were in the class right then, so I didn't have to worry about a fuss about my existence. "I'm Mrs. Yuchiza," she shook my hand. "Nerv headquarters briefed me on the situation with you, so let me just tell you a few things," she began. "If you feel bullied or picked on for being a boy, report to me or the school superintendant immediately. We been told to keep your very existence a complete secret from other schools, and I will instruct your classmates to do so as well. Now then, Mr. Ikari, are there any questions?"

"Nope," I shook my head smiling.

"Alright then. Class begins in a half hour, so when the bell rings, just come to the front here and I'll write your name on the board for the class. There's no real seating arrangements, so feel free to pick whatever desks are available when more classmates come in."

"Understood." I nodded.

"Well then, go pass the time for now and then you can introduce yourself to the class," our teacher smiled as she went back to her paper-checking.

I followed Rei to her seat…which was exactly the same place as it was in my world. Some things never change. "Oh, a window seat?" I asked, trying to act surprised.

"Yeah," my sister sighed pleasantly. "It helps pass the time when the teacher's droning on with her usual lectures. So then," she brightened up. "How about you sit by me? The desk to my right has been vacant ever since Mai Ichinose transferred to a different school a few weeks back."

"Sure thing," I nodded as we sat together.

"Oh, and same for me as well," Rei told me. "If someone's messing with you, tell me immediately and I'll deal with it. It's not tattling since you're a very important person with your position. So, just stick with me and you'll be fine, nii-chan."

"Sure. Thanks, Rei," I smiled back. We sat together, Rei talking about how school was structured (nothing changed save the fact that girls changed in classrooms without there being boys to worry about).

When the bell rang to start class, I headed to the front, the classroom about as full as it was when I first went to school back in my world. The teacher finished writing my name on the board by the time I was up there, and as I faced the class, I was greeted with confused and anxious stares of the girls in both female and male uniforms.

"Um," I cleared my throat. "My name is Shinji Ikari. I'm Rei's brother and, um," I tried to remember what Mother told me to say the other day. "Well, uh, I've been kept safe in Nerv as the last male. Um, I hope I can get along with all of you, and…um…it's very nice to meet all of you."

A passing moment of dead silence made me uneasy. I looked over to my left to see a familiar face. Our class president was the same girl from my world, but what caught my eye was a tall girl in the back, her hair cut short and tomboyish and her uniform a black and white track suit. For a moment I thought I was seeing Touji, but shook off the thought as I remembered Touji didn't exist in this world.

A single hand raised in the back, belonging to a bespectacled girl with short curly auburn hair.

"Hey there," she grinned as she stood. "I'm Kiko Aikawa," she gave a bow to me. "I guess I get to be the first to ask, so, tell us the truth, are you really a guy?"

"Um, yeah," I nodded. Well, at least there wasn't a mad rush of students grabbing me to confirm this like what would probably happen in one of those cheesy harem anime stories.

"Is that so…?" she adjusted her glasses with a sly smirk. "Do you have proof?"

"Uh-!" I gulped as I felt my cheeks redden.

"Ms. Aikawa!" Hikari stood up and glared back at the girl. "You shouldn't be so rude to a new student." I gave a relieved sigh, at least Hikari hadn't changed. "But, well, for the record," she turned to me with a blush. "Could you at least show us you don't have breasts?"

I stand corrected. Corrected and appalled.

"Um…No, can't you just trust what I said…?" I asked uneasily. Before I could say something else, a loud thundering of footsteps and chairs moving hammered over to me as all the girls in the class crowded me at once, gasping and grabbing me in a sea of arms and hands as I was felt, petted, patted, and then undressed!

"Nii-chan!" I heard Rei from behind the clamoring group as I was stripped to my underwear against my own will! Then some girl's hand snaked into my panties! Her shocked gasp made all the girls freeze and grow silent as I felt thermal expansion happening at the absolute worst time ever! I tried to cover the tip as it poked up, but two girls kept my arms up as the girls awed.

"No WAY!" the girl squealed in shock as she withdrew her hand. "He's really a guy!"

"WHOA!" all the other girls started to feel me up. All I could do was whimper as I was man-handled by all the students. When I heard more girls at our class entrance seeing what the commotion was, then yelling what was going on to the other classes, I just wanted to die right then and there! This isn't how I wanted to spend my days at school, dammit!

"HIYAH!" I heard a battlecry as many of the girls were thrown to the ground from one girl executing a flying side-kick at the group. Kicks, punches, and body throws sent girls to the floor or flung to the sides as I looked up to see…

"REI??" I gawked as my sister fought off the excited girls with numerous attacks and blows that would make Bruce Lee look like an amateur! Soon, different girls from the pouring groups assisted my sister as they acted as kung-fu crowd-control to keep everyone at bay. Our teacher watched helplessly as Hikari yelled at Rei at the top of her lungs for inappropriate behavior while the knocked down girls took their seats in fear of my Shaolin sibling and her friends' attacks. The remaining girls hurried to their classrooms in fright as well, leaving me alone at the front of the class in shock at what had just transpired the past few seconds…

"...I don't care…." Rei groaned as our class representative lectured her continuously.

"You should care, Ms. Ikari!" Hikari waved her finger at my twin. "By using violence against students, even if it was for your brother, you've violated school rules and will most likely be expelled. Not to mention that you probably hurt and injured so many girls with you and your club's members being so reckless and pugnacious!"

"Grrr…." Rei looked through her uniform's pockets, then pulling out a folded up piece of paper as she handed it to our class president. "Read!" she scowled.

"What?" Hikari took the paper and scanned through it after opening it up. Her eyes widened and her expressions turned sour and irate.

"Well?" Rei glared expectantly, crossing her arms. "Read it aloud, Class Rep, because the students have a right to know!"

Hikari looked like she was going to spontaneously combust in rage right then as she reluctantly read the document to the class.

"W-We of Nerv and the Tokyo-3 public and private school systems hereby charge Rei Ikari with the sole responsibility of protecting Shinji Ikari, the last man on Earth, from all dangers and antagonizing, using…whatever force necessary. Should Rei Ikari need assistance, or should she be unable to protect her brother, all official members of the Ultimate Collective Martial Arts Club, of which Rei Ikari is a member and current club captain of, have the right to protect Shinji Ikari from all dangers and proselytizing, using whatever force necessary as well. This order is final and absolute, per the Marduke Organization, Nerv Headquaterts, and the Tokyo-3 Public and Private Educational Systems. Signed…." Hikari paused.

"Read it," Rei humphed.

"Signed….Commander Yui Ikari and Sub-Commander Naoko Akagi of Nerv, and School Superintendant Yumi Shiozaki…" she finally finished, her face a mix of protest and ire as she handed the paper to Rei.

"Thank you, Class Rep," my sister smiled pleasantly as she skipped back to the front. "Nii-chan, you might want to pull your pants up and get your clothes back on," she whispered to me. Blushing, I quickly dressed as the girls in the class made slight giggles.

"-Ahem!-" our sensei cleared her throat after wiping some sweat off her brow. "As I was going to say, Shinji's existence is to be kept a secret from all other outside forces. Even from your mothers, grandmothers, aunts, nieces, cousins, sisters, friends, and girlfriends. No one is to know of Mr. Ikari's presence until Nerv has given proper authorization. Do I make myself clear?"

"H-Hai, sensei…" the class hesitantly agreed, probably out of fear of my sister or mother's intervention.

"Now then, I do apologize, Mr. Ikari," our teacher sighed with a wary smile to me. "These girls are usually well-behaved. I suppose it can't be helped that they would react this way to the last remaining boy. Nonetheless, lay low here in the school, and try not to cause a commotion. And remember that what just happened wasn't your fault, really."

"R-Right…" I blushed with a nod.

"Well, go ahead and take your seat next to Rei and then we'll begin class," she instructed as I sat next to my sister. Our teacher cleared her throat as she began her lecture. "And so, in the year 2000, the alien meteorite that burned in the atmosphere let loose the great virus that wiped out mankind, leaving womankind unharmed…" Wow, more things stayed the same than I thought.

"Rei," I whispered to my sister.

"Hm?" she turned to me with a smile.

"Captain…of the Ultimate Collective Martial Arts Club?" I asked with despair.

"Yup," she winked. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"Um…Sure…" I leered. No wonder everyone at Nerv was scared of Rei…And now I was beginning to grow frightened of her too…

Class continued, lecture after lecture being droned on. I spent my time simply staring off into space, or looking over at Rei as she did her usual window-gazing, occasionally looking back at me with a smile and blush. I snapped out of my daze when I saw a flashing light on my computer screen. It was an email by one of the students in the class on our server. I opened it with a bit of hesitation, wondering what the message was. The sender was 'KA9506', and as I read the message, I realized who it was.

_Hey! This is Kiko Aikawa, the girl that asked you if you really were a guy._

_Sorry about starting that whole mess. I really didn't mean for a whole petting session to happen! lol. Anyways, my friend Tamako and I were wondering if you wanted to have lunch with us. She's the tan girl in the track uniform. Anyways, give me a response before lunch starts!_

_-Kiko Aikawa_

Looking to the back where the redheaded girl was, I managed to make eye-contact as she gave a grin and waved to me. Her track-friend Tamako was right next to her, and gave an acknowledging nod to me. I turned back to my computer and typed back,

_Sure thing, Ms. Aikawa. Is it alright if my sister has lunch with us too? I don't want to leave her out._

_-Shinji Ikari_

I then clicked 'send' and waited for the response back.

A mail icon popped up shortly after.

_Rei?? Um…I suppose…So long as she doesn't try to drop-kick us…_

I gave a quiet chuckle as I replied back that Rei would be on her best behavior.

The bell rang for lunch to start hours later. I turned to my sister with a smile.

"Hey, Rei? Ms. Aikawa and her friend Tamako want us to have lunch with them, that okay?" I asked, then mentally kicking myself for forgetting to make us lunch! "Damn…I just realized that-"

"Looking for these?" Rei pulled out two bentos filled with leftovers from our breakfast, grinning.

"Huh?" I gawked. "When did…?"

"When you were getting dressed, nii-chan," she giggled. "I figured you'd forget, so I thought ahead and kept them in my schoolbag. Well," she stood as she tugged my hand. "Aikawa and Suzumiya want us to have lunch with them, so, let's go," she smiled as we went over to the two girls. However, a crowd of girls gathered around us shortly after passing one row of desks.

"Hey, Shinji!" several girls asked. "Wanna have lunch with me?" they all said at different times. Being popular was never my intention in life, but having girls line up to eat with me…Well…I'm still a normal guy…How often would THIS happen anyways?

"Sorry, we're eating with Aikawa and Suzumiya," Rei gave a menacing but still pleasant grin to the group as the many girls leered back and made a pathway for us to proceed through. Geez…My sister really is that creepy, isn't she?

"Ah, Shinji," Kiko grinned as she stood to greet me with a handshake. She was rather short, even for a girl her age. Her friend Tamako stood up next to her, and it was an odd comparison! Tamako was at least 170 centimeters tall! "Glad you could make it," she continued to grin as we shook hands.

"Wow, you're short for a guy," Tamako blinked as she spoke up, her voice a bit deeper than her friend's and having a slight Kansai accent like Touji had.

"No, you're just an Amazon," Ms. Aikawa giggled with a sly smile before her friend pulled her ear. "Ow ow ow ow ow!" she squeaked.

"Hey, a shrimp like you shouldn't be making jokes at someone who can take you down just from sitting on you," the tall girl sighed with an annoyed tone. "Anyways," she let go of her vertically-challenged friend as they both chuckled to one another. "So, the last man on Earth, huh?" she grinned as we sat. Kiko pulled out a juice box with two wrapped rice balls while her tall friend got out an industrial-sized bento box with more food than I could handle in one sitting. She wasn't Touji, but the resemblance and various similarities were uncanny!

"Yeah, seems that way," I gave a laugh to lighten the mood. Rei and I opened our bentos and began eating as we talked together. "So, um tell me about yourselves," I smiled as I ate.

"Lessee…" Kiko brightened up. "Well, I guess you could call me an otaku. I like anime and manga, but videogames are a big interest for me too."

She could easily be Kensuke's clone if it weren't for her gender and reddish hair.

"Let's not forget your militaria fetish," Tamako added before stuffing half a rice ball into her mouth ravenously.

"You make it sound like it's a delinquent interest," Kiko humphed.

"Sorry, let me rephrase that," she grinned. "Your militaria obsession."

The little bespectacled girl mumbled something about giraffes before the taller girl bonked her head lightly.

"As for me," she turned her attention to me. "I'm on the track team, as you can see with the uniform and all," Tamako munched another rice confectionary hungrily before moving to her soba and shrimp. "Which means I can eat all I want and not worry about getting chubby."

"Yeah, being in sports has that wonderful advantage," Rei finally spoke up, chirping with her agreeing. "Of course, you track girls are one heck of a team. How many matches have you guys lost in the past two years?" she grinned.

"None to date," the tan girl grinned like the cat that ate the canary. "And not to brag, but some of those victories are from yours-truly."

"Careful, your ego's making your head bigger," Kiko smirked. Another bonk to the head by her tall friend paid her back though.

"As for interests…" Tamako thought for a moment. "Can't say much. Action movies are a favorite of mine, along with food. Yummy hardy food," she smiled as she slurped her noodles.

"Lucky, you have a better metabolism than even me," my sister gave a giggle as she ate some of her fish. "I'd probably have to do some major training to work off a meal as big as yours is right now."

"Make no mistake," the tan-skinned girl noted. "I'm gonna be doing some major running today after school, as well as my usual calorie-burning from P.E."

"Oh, that reminds me," I finally asked. "What am I doing for P.E.?"

"Hm? Oh! Right," Rei blinked. "You'll just have to change in the bathroom, and sorry, we only have burumas and one-piece swimsuits, nii-chan. You'll have to get your gym and pool clothes from the teacher this week. The pool's closed though, so you needn't worry about wearing the one-piece until late March."

I could feel my ears and cheeks burn bright red at such…embarrassing info…

"Ah, but don't worry, nii-chan," my albino win giggled as she poked my cheek teasingly with her chopsticks. "You'll probably get to sit today's P.E. out since we don't have a uniform ready for you yet."

"That's a relief…" I gave a sigh.

"But," she added. "We have spare martial arts uniforms for my club, so you'll still get to exercise today," Rei cheered.

I got a mental image of my sister as a karate club captain with tattooed underlings with num-chucks and various ninja gear, all of them grinning like madmen…er…women as they whipped me into shape…literally…

"Yeesh, you're gonna be in Rei's club?" Kiko gulped. "You have my sympathies. It was nice knowing you, Shinji…" she gave me a pat on my head as she finished her juice.

I thought about how this was for my own protection, but still…a gung-ho sister and her martial arts lackeys made me shiver…

Mother….Why have you forsaken me?

Author's Notes:

Crash: Well, this one took WAY too long to write. Laziness and lack of creativity took a golden baseball bat to me WAY too many times these past few months. Well, on the up side, we have the next chapter coming with some things to look forward to! Shinji in the Ultimate Collective Martial Arts Club will be a fun one, especially since I'll be referencing some things from two martial arts mangas by Yuji Shiozaki (big fan of his works!). Also, just to clarify, Kiko and Tamako are not female versions of Toji and Kensuke; but rather, they're more like girls that filled in the role-vacuum Toji and Kensuke left when they died from Second Impact. Tamako doesn't have a little sister, and Kiko has a mother whom she loves dearly despite the whole otaku-ness making her 'unladylike' and thus giving some tension between Kiko and her mom. More of that kinda stuff in future chapters too! Also, we'll be seeing the first Angel fight with the Ikari twins! w00t! Now then, a very important thing ahead is that Asuka-

Policewoman: That's enough. You used up all your time on your one phone call, mister. Now, into the cell with you!

-Crash is thrown into a cell with a creepy-looking man with a water-pail over his head-

Creepy man: How old are ya?

Crash: T-Twenty-two… -leers-

Creepy man: Just the way I like 'em…!

Crash: Eep!


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Quacking:

Well, last chapter was a doozey, wasn't it? I'm so glad you readers approve of my story, and make no mistake, I will not let this series die. If any of you read my original fiction series 'Pink Gender' on fictionpress(dot)com, you'd know I'm a man of my word when I say that (that particular story is almost done too and is the longest series I've ever written). Let's see…I'm laughing my ass off at the predictions people are making about characters and plot shtuff. Asuka is gonna be one hell of a character to add to the cast, and I think I'll be benevolent and advance her appearance to –DUN DUN DUUUN!- CHAPTER 9! Yes, you heard me right! Asuka Strikes Redux will be Chapter 9! So stock up on some Yebisu, strudel, and bratwurst so you can enjoy that upcoming chapter and all the surprises that come along with it! Woo-Hoo! Oh, I saw Rebuild of Evangelion Part 1 and GOD DAMN it was awesome. I'd advise any of you that live in a cave and still haven't seen it yet to watch it on veoh(dot)com or download it from Anime Eden. The last scene before the credits and the previews is made of motherf--king WIN and made me anxious to see more. I'm as giddy as Rei is (in this story) to see more! Tee-hee!

Disclaimer:

I do not own the rights to Evangelion, its characters, plot, themes, or ideas. Anno and Gainax do. Anyone who disputes this will have to face my really unpleasant friends in the Canadian Mafia, eh.

Chapter 6

Eating lunch with Ms. Kiko and Ms. Tamako, ignoring class as our sensei droned on, sitting out of gym class and watching the girls do track and field for the day, more class that I ignored…it was all a blur. My heart pounded as the clock drew closer and closer to the final bell…the bell that would sound my end when school would be over and my hell would begin in Rei's club.

I flinched when the school bells chimed. Well, maybe that's an understatement.

"Nii-chan! Are you alright?" My sister asked concernedly as I laid on the floor, my body sore from the sudden thud.

"Y-yeah…" I gulped. "I mean, NO, I'm uh….Ow…In pain. Yes! I uh, I don't think I can make it to the club today!" I lied at the last second. But all I got was a displeased frown from my sister. My heart shriveled a little at that expression on her face…

"Nii-chan…" she huffed. "I'm not stupid. I know you're nervous about being in the club with us, but try to at least be a little open-minded and not so childish, okay?" As she got up from her desk, she yanked me to my feet with inhuman strength and ease! Oh GOD she was strong! "Now, you're coming with me whether you want to or not. If you stay with me and my club after school, you'll be safe from other girls and anyone that might try to…do something to you," she said with a frightening tone and glare that would make Father seem like a pleasant fellow…I swear I shrunk a few inches from that tone and face!

"O-Okay…" I gulped as I grew pale.

"Good!" my twin suddenly became her chipper self from before and took my hand, leading me to a small gymnasium. Inside the air-conditioned room were girls in sports bras, spandex briefs and short-shorts, and light hand and feet coverings as they kicked in formation, attacked sandbags that hung from the low ceiling, and fired punch and kick after punch and kick at attack pads held by their friends…all while yelling loudly with every hit they made. Between the kiyas and the sounds of hands and feet making hard contact with the pads and bags, it was a frightening cacophony. All eyes darted to me as the girls all stopped what they were doing, lining up in front of the gym entrance. I panicked, shutting my eyes and preparing for another god-awful petting session, but as I opened my eyes to look, all girls were on their knees and bowing before Rei and me like we were feudal lords or something.

"Welcome, Ikari-sama!" they all greeted me with voices befitting samurai to their master.

"Um…Hi…?" I blinked.

"Nii-chan," Rei faced me and bowed as a martial arts student would to her master. "These fifty-five young ladies are here to protect you here on the school grounds and wherever possible. Your position as the last man on Earth cannot be summed into mere words for how important your well-being is, that is why," Rei bowed before me like the other club members on the floor, and then they all recited at once,

"We of the Ultimate Collective Martial Arts Club hereby pledge our lives to serve and protect you, Ikari-sama!"

I was a bit taken back by all of this. It was like I was a noble in Edo times…And these were my bodyguards…Except they were all cute and strong middle school girls! Rei raised her head with a smile.

"And I, Captain of the club, promise that we shall do all in our power to make you stronger, so that the future generations will remember their patriarch as a strong and able man."

"Osu!" the girls all grunted in unison.

"Um…Thank you…" I awed at this display of loyalty.

"Now then," Rei beamed as she and her club members all stood up. "We need to get you suited up for your first day of practice."

"Wait, you're serious?!" I leered as Rei took my hand, just giving me enough time to kick off my shoes as she dragged me to the locker room. Thankfully, no one was in there right this second. In the back was a box of unopened sports garments that the other girls were wearing. "Let's see…these should fit you," my sister smiled as she handed me what looked like a sports bikini top and a pair of skin-tight boxer-shorts, all in the same spandexy material as the other girls' uniforms. "And these too," she handed me the fingerless gloves and toe-less and heel-less socks. "Well? Get dress, nii-chan," she smiled as she folded her arms across her chest.

"Um…can't I get some privacy…?" I felt my cheeks warm in my blush.

"It's okay," a girl came in from behind, my skin prickling in fear. "We aren't gonna ogle you like the girls from earlier did," she explained as I saw her change before me!

"Aya, you're leaving early?" Rei asked blinking. "Did you at least get your warm-ups and basic forms?"

"Yeah, sorry Captain," she bowed before stripping right before my eyes. Her form, though girlish, was toned with a bit of muscle visible in an attractive way to me…Were all girls in the club like this??

"Is there a good reason for the sudden leave?" Rei asked as she too undressed…I quickly stared at my feet the rest of the time.

"Yeah…Sadly…" the girl headed to the showers as my sister followed her. "My mom called and wants me to babysit my baby sister while she and Papa go out for the evening."

I looked up in shock, at the last two things she said. Papa? Baby sister??

"Ah, well, I'll allow it then. Though, you're gonna have to stay late to make it up tomorrow," I heard my sibling sigh. "Well, take care of your sister and I'll see you first thing after class." With a mutual goodbye, Rei returned, still naked it seemed as her skin shined with a slight sheen from the shower room's steam.

Quickly I looked away again.

"Nii-chan? What's wrong?" she quickly went to where I was facing, which prompted me to look the other way again. "Hey, quit avoiding me," I heard her pout as she directed my gaze to hers. "Hm…Your face is a bit flushed…" She then felt my head, my heart pounding as I tried not to stare at her developing bosom. "And your temperature is a little high…Oh no…Nii-chan, are you feeling ill??" she panicked.

"R-Rei…C-Could you please put something on….!" I shut my eyes tightly.

"Hm?" I heard my twin sister muse as she took her hand off me. "Oh! Sorry, I was about to change when Aya went to the showers. Sorry, nii-chan," Rei giggled as if it were a simple matter like accidentally leaving your shoes on while entering a house. When I opened my eyes, I beheld the sight of my sister showing an amount of skin that I was comfortable with. Bathroom incidents and the one from a second ago aside, this was my fist time really seeing her form. Rei's body was more toned than the girl from just now, with little to no baby-fat whatsoever. It was as if her body was the perfect mix of strong and lithe all at once! I had to shake my head to get my mind away from the fact that I was staring at my sister's body…

Her top was a snug grey tanktop with a matching set of form-fitting short shorts. Her hands and feet had heel and wrist gloves on with slight padding on the upper parts in a shade of blue. The colors really seemed to fit Rei's already cool hair and skin tones now that I took a good look at them.

"Well?" she blinked. "Get dressed, nii-chan!" she giggled with a warm smile.

"Um…Can't I get some privacy…?" I shivered at the thought of being naked in front of anyone, sister or not.

"Well, this time I'll give you some," Rei sighed. "But from now on, you'll be changing coed with the club members. Of course, I'll be with you as a security measure."

Gah…

That wasn't comforting, even if her intentions were pure…

"Um…Alright…" I felt my face blaze in shame.

"Well, meet me outside and we'll get your training under way, nii-chan," she patted my rear in (what she thought) was a friendly manner.

"She's your sister…" I grumbled in sorrow as I undid my uniform and folded it on the bench. I was putting on my shorts when the Aya girl from earlier came into the changing room, her towel not even covering her body as she sighed happily.

"Waaaah….Nothing like a nice hot shower to- Oh," I she blinked as her towel dropped, revealing her maturing form. "My my," she gave a toothy grin as she picked her towel up and went over to her locker to dress. "So, that's what one looks like."

I said nothing as I tried to pull the spandex-like tanktop over my chest.

"Sorry, about that Ikari-sama," she apologized politely like she and the girls spoke earlier. "I was curious if it looked any more appealing in person than as a text book image. Besides, you got to see me twice now, so I'll call us even. Well, I best be going," she came from her locker fully dressed in her school uniform (what would have been a male uniform from my world).

"Oh! Um, wait a sec," I turned to talk to her.

"Hm? What is it, sir?" Aya blinked.

"Um…Well, you said you had a baby sister…and a dad…right?"

"Yeah," she shrugged. "OH! You must have not been told, huh?" she laughed girlishly. "I see. Well, I can't tell you now because I need to head home, but ask the captain about that little detail. She'll be able to tell you all about it. Well, farewell, my lord!" she then bowed properly to me as she left the room. This daimyo thing was gonna take some getting used to…

"Nii-chaaaaan…." I heard my sister growl as she came into the room, waking me from my pensive moment as she pulled my arm with inhuman strength as she dragged me out into the dojo. Thankfully I was all geared up (though the shorts hugged my….equipment a bit tightly…), and not a moment too soon as Rei and I were encircled by the fifty-five femme fighters of fourteen years.

"Now then," my twin began. "We of the Ultimate Collective Martial Arts Club stress one thing more than anything else. Do you know what that is, nii-chan?"

"Um…Strength?" I shrugged worryingly as all the girls stared at us like hawks.

"No!" she thumped my forehead punitively. "Basics!"

"Basics!" the girls chanted enthusiastically in perfect unison.

"Basics?" I blinked.

"Yes, nii-chan!" my sister beamed. "Strength is meaningless in a fight if you lack proper control and coordination to utilize that strength into proper attacks and blocks. Think of the human body as water."

"Well…Aren't we seventy-something percent water anyways?" I blinked again. Another finger-whack to my forehead shut me up for my insolence.

"Concentrate, nii-chan!" Rei frowned. "Now, the human body is like water. It's fluid in its motions. Like water, we can be calm and still; gentle as a stream or pool. But like water, we can also be a devastating force; like a crashing tsunami or roaring river. The balance of strength and calmness is what martial arts is all about, nii-chan," she smiled then. "That's why mastering the basics is crucial. Even if you're incredibly strong, someone of a weaker physique can throw you to the ground by using your body's force against you. Think of it like diverting an oncoming flood with fjords or walls."

"Um…I think I understand…" I quirked an eyebrow at this mumbo-jumbo she was talking about. Water? Basics? Fjords?

"Alright, a demonstration is in order," she sighed. "Nii-chan, come at me with all you've got."

"WHAT?" I gawked at her request.

"Hit me as hard as you can. Or run and kick me. Try to land as powerful of an attack as you can muster at me."

"R-Rei…I'm not going to hit you…"

"You won't, trust me," she smiled happily.

"Right, exactly what I'm saying. I won't hit my sister."

"Gah…Okay, we'll have to force the attacks out of you then," my twin narrowed her eyes at me before her body jumped in place into a fighter's stance, her fists raised as she leaned back to lunge at me.

"Wha-! Rei!?" I gulped as I leered at the offensive stance and posture of my sister.

"If you don't attack me, nii-chan," she took a deep breath. "I can't guarantee you won't get pummeled. HYAH!" she lunged at me with a cosmically fast punch to my face. I managed to avoid the jab, but only to have Rei bring her arm in a chop to my chest, winding me as I staggered back in recoil.

"Rei! This is crazy! I can't fight you!" I panicked as my voice cracked at a horrible time.

"Nii-chaaaaaaaan….!" Was all she said to me (in a haunting manner, at that!) when she turned her piercing gaze back to me, flinging her form at me with a side-kick to my gut. Without even realizing it, I grabbed her shin in mid-flight and yanked my sister off her standing foot, sending her to the floor on her side.

I paused at the position this landed me in. I was stunned. Did I just knock down my sister? Crap!

"Not bad, nii-chan," Rei smiled triumphantly as the girls all applauded. "Mind you, in a real fight you'd have to do more than just pull your opponent to the ground, but it's a good start."

"Uh…Thanks…?"

"Good! Now then, onto basics!" she cheered as she hopped back to her feet and I was taught for the next three hours how to kick, punch, and block in their most basic forms. When all was said and done (and after several water breaks) the club was adjourned as we all headed to the showers….well, all but me.

"Nii-chan?" Rei paused as she looked back at me. "C'mon, we need to shower up," she smiled with such purity….er…well at least it looked like purity.

"Um…I'll shower when we get home…" I waived the offer.

"Nii-chan…" my twin groaned as she hauled me over her shoulder! Was she a lumberjack or something?? "If you're going to be the next generation's grand patriarch, you have to be comfortable around the female form. We already said we won't get you in a petting session like before anyways."

"B-B-But…!"

"No buts," she huffed as she dropped me into the locker room and stripped me and then handed me a towel, a washcloth, and a bar of soap. "Now, wash up and do it thoroughly, nii-chan," she smiled as I covered myself. In the steamy bathing room I could here the chatting as the girls all talked and lathered themselves.

"Oh! Ikari-sama!" one girl called for me, her front sudsy. "Could you get my back please?" she asked in a chipper tone.

"Mee too!" others all offered.

"Um…S-Sure…" I felt my face grow red in embarrassment as I kept the towel around my front and hesitantly scrubbed each girl's back. When I felt a wet and warm set of hands on my back, though, I let out a yelp that probably sounded like a girl's.

"It's okay, it's just me, nii-chan," I heard Rei as she scrubbed my back. "My, you're tense…" she cooed as she rubbed my shoulders and back muscles expertly.

"R-Rei…" I sighed as I became limp all over…except one spot.

"Wow," one girl looked over at me. "It's bigger than I thought."

"Yeah, kinda cute too," another giggled.

"Wha-what?" I tensed again and covered myself clumsily as I almost slipped.

"It's okay, Ikari-sama," the girls all smiled back. "We know better than to grope you and stuff."

"Th-Thanks…?" I blinked as Rei's tentative hands continued to make my body loosen up. After all those kicks and punches, I was so sore…

"Now the front," Rei chirped as she went in front of me with a soapy washcloth and started to scrub my front side….starting with my bare chest.

"R-Rei!" I scooted back. "I can handle that myself…" I felt my head go dizzy as my relocating allowed me to see all of the girls naked…with shining bodies…and…

…I felt my mind cloud as something warm dripped from my nasal passageways and then felt a brief bang to the back of my head as everything went black.

"So…Blacked out from perversity, huh?" I heard Asuka's voice.

"A-Asuka…?" I blinked as I found myself suspended (naked) in a world of abyssal darkness in front of an equally naked Asuka.

"Nope, just me," she winked back.

"F-Fairy?" I tried to cover myself and look away, only to see the fae girl where I turned my gaze or even if I tried to close my eyes.

"Yup! So, how do you like your accommodations thus far, Shin-chan?" she asked as I got an eyeful of her form. Something was off about her appearance though…

"S-Sorta…I'm not too comfortable with being in a martial arts club, but it could be worse…" I gulped as I realized what was different: her boobs.

"It could be better too…" the fae grinned as she took note of my staring, fondling herself in front of me. "Ooohh…These are soooo much better at this size…Too bad about this world's Asuka…" she then pouted.

"Why?" I asked with uneasiness.

"She's not nearly this gifted. In fact," she smiled evilly once more. I couldn't believe my eyes as I saw her breasts...shrink? They were smaller than Rei's! "She's barely developed compared to your world's Asuka. Yup yup yup," she nodded.

"How's that even…possible…?" I gulped. It felt weird to be staring at an Asuka that bordered on flat-chested compared to her counterpart.

"All that lovely military training and working out, probably. Working out keeps a girl's hormone levels down. And during puberty, it sorta stunts breast development and gives them irregular periods," the fairy sighed. "But, all things considered, you're getting a sweet deal with this world's Asuka."

"Wait a minute…" I blinked then. "If this world's Asuka has really small…um…ones…how come Rei's are-?" I stopped myself, but she already knew what I was saying.

"Oh MY! Shinji likes his sister's boobs!" she called out (not that there was anyone to hear). "Hehehehehe…Got a sister-complex after all, huh?"

"I-I do not!" I shook my head, flustered. Then, I felt a warmth envelop my chest, starting from my lips as the fairy dissipated to black and the world went dark completely. As I opened my eyes, I felt the warmth come against and a familiar scent invaded my senses…

As I opened my eyes, I found Rei was kissing me, her hot breath filling my lungs as I flailed in shock!

"Pwah!" my sister's lips smacked as she got off me, with a relieved expression and a blush. "You had us worried there, nii-chan," she sighed happily. "Too much steam made your nose bleed and then you fainted."

"I…I did?" I blinked as I sat up, seeing that all of us were still naked but with the showers off. The decline in room temperature was apparent with everyone… "Uh-! C-Can we go home now, Rei?" I blushed as I shut my eyes, wanting to cry in shame as my body shivered in that certain way it does before the blood goes south of the equator…

"Well, you're washed up now, so sure. Let me help you up," she said warmly as I was hoisted up with ease and toweled. The other girls went about doing their things as they continued to shower while Rei and I left, my eyes still shut tightly. "Are your sinuses hurting, ni-chan? You've had your eyes shut tightly for a bit…"

"Um…I just…want to respect everyone's privacy…" I said in a half-truth. In actuality, I was worried I'd get another nosebleed and faint.

"Well, that's honorable of you, nii-chan," I heard her chirp as she pressed my folded uniform to my chest for me to take. "I'll be sure to cook you a nice meal tonight to get your stamina up," she added as I heard her head to the other side to her own locker. I dressed as quickly as I could, opening my eyes to see my sister was fully clothed too (thank God).

"Well, let's head home!" Rei beamed as she took my hand and we went home. As we made our way inside after making it by sunset, Misato was busy rummaging through the fridge, inaudible grumblings echoing.

"DAMMIT!" she screamed in rage as she stood back up, revealing she was topless. "That goddamned bitch Commander Ikari!" she ruffled her raven hair in ire before seeing us at the door, silence pervading the stares we exchanged. "…Um…I mean…" she was quick to change her tune as I noticed Rei's glare. Dear lord it was the same as Mother and Father's!

"Yes…?" my twin put her hands on her hips angrily.

"Uh…Sh-She d-did a very g-good thing…I mean…" Misato quickly began to sweat in fright. "I didn't really need all that beer I spent good money on and all, so of course having someone take it away while I was asleep today without reimbursing me was perfectly acceptable…"

Then, I saw something so frightening it almost made me wet myself.

"Good!" Rei cheered. "Glad to know you approve of Mom's decisions and wouldn't be, oh I don't know, saying unnecessary things about her, right?" she then narrowed her eyes in a smug glower.

"Y-Yeah…." Our guardian quivered. "I…I should be using coffee to wake me up before the night shift anyways…"

"Now, if only we could get you to dress decently while living co-ed," my sister quickly added as Misato covered herself in forced shame before heading to get a top on.

And what was I doing this whole time?

"Nii-chan?" Rei blinked. "Why's your face all red? Do you have a fever…?" she asked concernedly as our foreheads touched.

"It's nothing…" I gulped. Great. I'd technically seen Misato's whole body unclothed now…My world's Asuka would have killed me for all I've seen thus far…

Rei and I went to our rooms to get into casual wear, Rei staying in her room for a bit as she checked her emails. I was in the kitchen getting out what was left of breakfast when I heard my sister come up to me.

"No no no," she giggled. "Nii-chan, I'm going to be making you a fresh dinner, remember?" she smiled as I looked over to her. "Think of this as your reward for working so hard during practice. Besides," she added as she sat me down at the table. "We'll split the cooking chores. I'll make dinner, you can make breakfast, and we'll prepare lunch together. Okay?"

"Yeah, sure," I smiled back. "I'm anxious to try your cooking, Rei."

"Then just wait for a bit while Iron Chef Rei Ikari whips you up a culinary treat!" my twin proclaimed with energy as I watched her prepare our meal. I soon remembered what Aya said earlier.

"Hey, Rei?" I asked as my sister looked over her shoulder to me briefly in response. "Um…Aya said she has a…um…father and a baby sister…Uh…but I thought all men were gone save me, and so…you know, no more babies could be made if that were true…Right?"

"Oh," she stopped cutting the celery for the soup. "You don't know, huh?"

Considering I'm not from this world, _yeah_…

"Well, babies can still be born, they're just clones of women. And Aya's father is actually her mother's wife. She probably is the one who works and provides for the family while her birth mother is the housewife. Their daughter is probably cloned from her stepmother and was made through her birth mother's ova."

"Uh…Totally lost me there, Rei…" I sighed.

"You know how cloning works, right?" she turned around to face me expectantly.

"Biology never was my best subject…" I could feel my cheeks redden.

"It's okay," my twin smiled. "I'll make it easy to understand. Basically, two cells are used to make a clone: the donor cell and an egg cell. The donor cell is from the person you're cloning, the egg is from a woman…usually the surrogate mother. Now, basically, the nucleus in the egg cell is removed and the donor cell is completely injected into the empty cell, then a special electric process sort of activates the cell and makes it divide and develop like a fertilized egg as a ninety-nine percent copy of the donor and is one percent related to the egg cell's donor. So, in a sense, the girl is a product of both women."

"Wow…" I awed at this info. "So there's still a birthrate?"

"Pretty much. Not as much as when men were around, but the human population is still growing bit by bit. Of course, you'll help it grow even faster, nii-chan," Rei winked.

I could feel my ears burn in at such a remark. I had almost forgotten about my role as the last male…But I'd probably just be doing it in cups and giving them to Ritsuko or some OB/GYN and not actually engaging in the fertilization process…What a downer…

"Oh, by the way," I asked once more. "When are we going to see Mother?"

"Hm?" my twin blinked after putting the cut vegetables into the cooking pot. Apparently we were having western beef and vegetable stew tonight. "Well…" she thought for a moment. "Mom did email me today about arranging a day together, just the three of us, but said that it would have to be in a few weeks, sadly."

"Oh…" I sighed.

"Sorry, nii-chan." I felt a warm presence envelope my form as I looked to see Rei was hugging me. "Mom's always been busy like this. It's hard to get used to, I know."

"Did…Did she ever just leave you alone…?" I asked with a slight crack in my voice as I remembered how Father abandoned me in my world.

"Sometimes, but-GAH!" Rei jumped as we heard the hissing of overflowing water hitting the electric stove coils. "Crap! I set it too high!" she quickly let go and hurried to our meal as she lowered the dial and took the large pot off the hot coils temporarily. "Whew…Hate it when that happens…Okay, it should be fine now," my sister quickly went to the freezer and found a packet of beef that had a bit of freezer burn on it. "Yeesh…Well, it's not expired, so it should be fine for the most part," she sighed before putting the whole slab of beef into the pot carefully, then propping the lid onto it.

"I didn't think Misato would have beef in the fridge…" I quirked an eyebrow at Rei's discovery.

"I was going to make beef nabe with curry mixed in," our guardian spoke from the hallway, clad in her crimson uniform and khaki shorts. "You two better behave while I'm gone. And save some for me too," she gave a brief smile before heading out.

"Poor Misato…" I sighed.

"Well, at least she'll be off your case for a bit, right nii-chan?" my twin beamed as she set the timer on the stove and then took a seat next to me at the kitchen table.

"Yeah…Um…" I looked away. Why wasn't she suspecting anything like Misato was? Mother didn't act as surprised when I arrived either…Weird.

"Oh!" Rei straightened up. "Nii-chan," she turned to me with a smile. "Mom also mentioned something in the email I got from her. Nerv will be sending you an up-to-date laptop like mine so Mom can talk with you via email or instant messenger. Isn't that great?"

"I get to have my computer?" I blinked. "Wow, yeah, that's awesome!"

"Also, Misato is gonna bring you your cell phone that Mom got you too. It'll have Misato, Mom, and my numbers already in it in case of emergencies. Though," she added with a serious expression and tone. "Don't call Mom unless you absolutely have to. She's usually too busy for even me to call."

"That makes sense," I nodded in assent. "But if she emails regularly, that's fine with me."

"Yeah, she's pretty reliable with that," my albino sister nodded as we sat and chatted together, Rei finishing the stew preparations before we chowed down. This night together…it was wonderful. I know it's kind of rude to say this, but I liked this world's Rei better. Her kindness and gentleness were what I really wanted in a good friend. Add that to the fact that she was my sister in the end, and I felt doubly blessed to have her here with me in this world.

To Be Continued…

Author's Squawking:

Well, sorry for the long update. Once again, I had to cut the chapter short. Sorry for disappointing all you folks that wanted to see Rei and Shinji fighting the Fourth Angel, but I didn't want to swamp myself with a major headache and post something some people wouldn't have the time to read all of. No biggy. Next chapter will be told interchangeably between Shinji's POV and a few third-person parts, and fret not, there will be some drama to the series after this chapter. Not nearly as angsty as the original Eva series, but I will just say that it wouldn't be Eva without a few mind-screws and some darkness near the end. I'm still debating on where I should go with the ending, or if I should just make it go into a sequel series…Gah…I hate being a lazy prick with too much ambition, it drives me NUTS!


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